Through the Sea of Memories
by Timmesque
Summary: [14th Chapter: Epilogue] Thus ends the year. The ashes are gone and the wind has left him behind....[TyKa] [COMPLETE]
1. September

**September**

**By Timberwolf220**

**A/N: A complete change from my first writing style. I have come far people! And I wanted to revive the TyKa movement (prods fellow TyKa writers). I'm not quite sure as to leave it solo or whether to follow the Nanashi formula and write multi-chaptered one-shots (now, that's an oxymoron). Let's see, shall we?**

**-XX-**

_**Could I be regretting it? Just a little?**_

_**--Vash the Stampede**_

**-XX- **

It was the worst month of the year, trailing quite so neatly in between to remind you that the holidays were approaching, but simply not soon enough. Depending on which part of the globe you are in, you will encounter either rain or snow. If not either, then you will experience chilly weather at the most. It was a time he rarely had any appreciation for anyone and he showed it.

So when he sat on the empty bench, in the empty park, he couldn't help but grumble under his breath. There was literally no one in the park, the trees swaying slightly to the direction of the wind and the leaves were bundling themselves at the base. There was no sounds of neighbour dogs or perhaps women rolling their pink and lace carriages with gurgling babies inside. It was the absolute calm and beauty of this scene that made him almost enjoy the season.

"Kai!"

Unfortunately, his moments of calm and peace never quite last for very long. But he knew it, he had wrapped his hands around the neck of the person who called. Who was a blue-haired blue-eyed hyperactive person with a blonde's personality. The person blinked and smiled, "Well, that's not very nice."

Kai grunted and loosed his hold, allowing Tyson to breath. Tyson sat next to him (much to his discontent) and looked up, "Wow, it's really cloudy today."

Kai looked at him in disbelief, "It's always cloudy in September," Silently, he chalked it up on one of the reason to hate this month.

"True," Tyson agreed, ignoring Kai's barb in the sentence, "But never like this."

Kai looked up and nodded slightly. The grey clouds swirled among each other. It was if someone in Heaven was stirring a cup of broth in the sky. It was haunting in its beauty. Kai looked away, unable to bear looking at it anymore.

"You seem quiet," At Kai's slight glare, he shrugged and said, "More than you are usually," His eyes were of a nonchalant colour, roving at every movement in the trees. If Kai stared long enough, he could see the trees shivering in Tyson's eyes.

"I hate September," Kai said suddenly, noticing Tyson's eyes were focused on him. It was a thrill he wasn't used to. He wasn't used to being held in regard, to be regarded. He looked back at him stubbornly as if daring Tyson to attack that statement or spout some bullshit about how it wasn't like that and that September was a beautiful time of the year.

Like he said, bullshit.

"I see," Kai blinked in shock at Tyson's quiet regard, "I understand I guess. It's such a cold month after all and you know the snow will come soon after. It makes things around you depressing."

Kai gaped at him. Simply gaped with his jaw hanging slightly open, enough for flies to zip through. Kai couldn't seem to formulate a proper response to that and turned away, wondering what happened to Tyson that changed him.

But then again, would he be here sitting and talking civilly to Tyson before?

No.

"But I don't think that's the only reason you hate September now, is it Kai?" Now Tyson's eyes were boring into him with a fire that nearly rivaled Dranzer's flames. Kai flinched away from those eyes, preferring to look up at the hauntingly sad beauty of the clouds. Anything would be more preferable to the truth that lay in those similarly stormy eyes.

"Do you want me to answer?" Kai said haltingly, "Because I can't."

_Not yet. Not when the pain is so close, so tangible that I can grab it and cry myself to sleep, holding onto it. And not in September, that dreaded month with its darkened skies and harsh winds. _

_Not yet, Tyson, not yet._

"I don't want you to answer," Tyson said smiling briefly, "But I really don't think you should blame September for something completely out of its control," He stared at the skies and Kai could see the clouds move in his eyes.

So, Tyson did have puerile to drive down his throat after all. Some things never change.

"It was….if it wasn't September," _If it wasn't September, if it wasn't raining, if we weren't in the car, if we weren't on a bumpy road, if the visibility hadn't been so bad, if I had yelled out the warning sooner, if we hadn't swerved, if he hadn't blocked the shards of glass meant for him, if his mother hadn't covered his body with her own, if he had helped them, if he hadn't given up…_

_If he hadn't given up…_

"…they would have been alive now," Kai said softly, bending his head, "They would be here, congratulating me on my latest victory, scolding me for drinking too much, things that normal parents do, you know?" Did he know? Tyson did spend his entire life with his grandfather. Did Tyson know how a normal family functioned, even though his father was never at home and his brother had other agendas than family on his mind?

Did Tyson…Was Tyson ever truly happy with what he has?

Yes.

Tyson asked for nothing, so he was content with nothing. His expectations were….different from Kai's at any rate.

"Yes, but don't forget," And Tyson's eyes twinkled slightly, "September heralds many good things as well. The years are always full of expectations, good and bad alike. It's up to us to accept them," now his eyes were serious and that cheerful twinkle had dimmed, "Whether we like it or not."

Kai said nothing, clenching his fists slightly. As he had expected, Tyson hadn't understood what he meant. This…he didn't understand at all.

"My mother died in September," Tyson said suddenly, "Did you know that Kai?"

What?

Kai choked. His eyes spun quickly onto Tyson who was still leaning back and admiring the sky. And he could see it, the slight glimmer of tears near the eyelashes like little droplets of dew after an early June shower. Tyson was crying and he was smiling.

"I'm sorry," That was the only thing he could say. The only thing he could force out of his immobile mouth. The only thing that could justify everything that happened today. He moped around, mourning his parent's demise and here Tyson could smile and say, "My mother's dead."

Kai wondered how he had the strength to say that.

"I don't think about it," Tyson said, perceiving Kai's unsaid question, "Let bygones be bygones," He said smiling, "Besides I'm pretty sure _kaa-chan _would be angry at me if I went around moping."

Kai didn't say anything.

Tyson stood up, "I'll go now. But don't hesitate to come by."

Kai didn't even look up, even when the footsteps had died quietly and he looked up at the sky and murmured, "So…are you angry at me?"

The skies merely shifted at his question.

It was a simple September evening after all.

**-XX-**

**A/N: Like I said, a complete change from my original style. Can't say if it is an improvement or not. Reviews will be sent to Takao Aoki in order to make Tyka official! XD XD XD XD**

_**-And for a moment time stood still-**_

_**-Or so he hoped-**_

_**-But time stands still for no one-**_

**--Author's observation**


	2. October

**October**

**By Timberwolf220**

**-Maybe I've been here before-**

**-I know this room, I've walked this floor-**

**-I used to live alone before I knew you-**

—**Rufus Wainwright "Hallelujah" **

**A/N: Back with the funny one-shots on the months of the year. I think I'll change the title for the original one-shot "September" and work with all the months. Review responses are at the end**

**-XX-**

It was Halloween night and if you didn't figure it out by the eerie lighting in the dojo or the pumpkins by the entrance, you simply weren't human. At least, that's what Kai discerns, even though he never paid any special attention to the holiday himself.

It was his teammates who actually decided to celebrate the holiday. More specifically, it was Tyson and Max who thought it was a good idea. Kenny thought it was a waste of time and Rei simply didn't care much about the idea to make any comments, bad or otherwise. Kai had his suspicions that it was Tyson's grandfather, Mr. Kinomiya who actually sprouted the idea in his teammates' heads.

He didn't dislike Halloween. But he wasn't overly fond of it either. The base emotion was indifference (which was his base emotion for most of the things he came across) and the strongest emotions he ever felt over anything have always been centered on Beyblading. Like the center of his universe, he mused to himself as he pulled back the sliding door to enter the dojo.

He did dress for the holiday and Mr. Kinomiya threatened in his jovial tone that if he didn't, there would be no supper of him and he'd ban Tyson from team practices. Naturally, as captain, he couldn't have that, so he agreed to come (much to his displeasure) and had asked Rei to help him choose a costume.

_Rei has a wicked sense of humour, _Kai thought silently. He was dressed in bright warm colors, the kind that would put flowers and the Sun to shame. . He had a long flowing cape behind him, a sultry yellow with a deep crimson lining. He wore a simple red tank-top and his pants flared out at the bottom like flames licking his feet. And to top it off, he had a diadem across his forehead, with a large ruby in the middle and a pointed Venetian mask that accentuated his sharp garnet eyes.

To put it simply, Rei found it funny if the "Ice Man of the Bladebreakers" came in as the Sun God.

He was going to make sure Rei paid for his humiliation in beyblade practices. Count on it.

Relishing the idea of driving Rei into the ground with training, he walked into the main room. There were black drapes on the wall with gold witches trailing a line of sparks and stars. There were some tapestries of silver skeletons and large hoary tombstones. Kai had to give Mr. Kinomiya credit. When he set his mind to something, he did it well. An aspect he thankfully passed down to Tyson, who demonstrated it in…_different _ways.

Still, it was effort well put and he unconsciously found himself admiring the atmosphere. There were others here, some Beyblade teams that had stopped here on tours or obscure tournaments in order to hone their skills. The Demolition Boys were here, so were Rei's team, the White Tigers and the All-Starz and so on so forth. He didn't recognize all of them, but there were few he did and even then, they knew better than to mingle with him.

"I didn't think you would come, despite what Gramps said," A voice, childish and gentle sounded behind him. He turned around and found himself facing Tyson, who was holding out some punch for him, in a pumpkin carved glass of all things. He accepted it gratefully and sipped it slowly, looking at Tyson from out of the corner of his eyes.

Tyson wore his standard dark colours. With his tanned skin, the blues stood out well. He was wearing a traditional kimono with cloud swirls. When he moved quickly, he could see the clouds tremble and move in the dress. Around his forehead, there was a plain light-blue headband and an ordinary blue band to tie his hair. It was simple in its elegance, Kai thought suddenly, realizing how Tyson stood out so easily among the crowd. Or maybe it was him.

Probably it was just him.

Tyson came towards him once more, "Enjoyed your drink?" His voice was still loud and childish, but not immature, Kai noticed. His questions were subtle and soothing almost. It's nice to know once in a while that someone cared.

Kai nodded and set the drink down onto a table draped with sequins and bats, "I did actually," He admitted truthfully and looked at him, "What was it?"

"Spiked pineapple juice," Tyson said calmly and he snickered at Kai's sudden choke and wide eyes, "Joking. It was a pineapple and peach combination. No alcohol," He paused and looked contemplative, "I think."

"And what a relief it is to my ears," Kai muttered, now glaring at him. However, his glare was softened immediately. It was so hard to get angry over silly reasons nowadays. Especially when those reasons involve Tyson. It seems he's always bending the rules for Tyson.

"You really came," and Kai heard the awe in his voice, "I thought you wouldn't come. What made you change your mind?"

"Your grandfather is a good blackmailer," Kai said promptly, not the least bit worried about the consequences. Tyson stared at him in shock and then laughed himself. It was unlike his old laugh, which was boisterous and loud. Now, the laugh was mellow and silvery like well-churned milk and butter on the countryside.

Tyson wiped slight tears of humour from his eyes, "I see. But you seemed…almost _social_ tonight Kai," And there was a glint of seriousness in his eyes, a look that was not familiar to Kai, "It's quite a change."

For some reason, Kai felt _needled _about that comment, so he retorted, "As if you haven't changed!" Yet, he knew Tyson would anticipate this verbal response and it would bounce off him just like other insults from Kai have. Will nothing deter Tyson? Why is it that he never acts insulted or hurt by Kai's words?

Tyson simply smiled knowingly as the insult flew past him, "I have," His voice was wistful, "For better or worse, I'm not sure."

Kai turned away, unable to look at the youth anymore. He remembered the time when he had betrayed the team, never looking back, not even once. And from what he heard from Kenny, Tyson started crying when he left, all alone on the balcony. Rei hated him for that and even though they were now civil terms, that breach of trust was never re-established and sometimes Rei would glare at him if he made an offhand remark about Tyson.

"Ladies and Gentlemen!" A voice boomed. Kai and Tyson turned towards the source of the voice, which was Mr. Kinomiya. The others also were quiet, waiting for the announcement, "We have a special celebration of the Dead tonight, so we will pay our respects in a special manner."

"What is he doing?" Tyson muttered form under his breath, "He never said anything about this."

"We will put on random masks on people," To emphasis his point, he pulled out a large plastic bag filled with black masks, "And the lights will go out. Follow the whispers of the ghosts to reach your destination."

"But what _is _our destination?" An exasperated voice called out. Kenny, from the sound of it, Kai thought smirking slightly.

"The person who love or the person you admire or the person you are thinking of," Mr. Kinomiya said, winking to them. There were audible groans coming from the audience and Kai could hear Tyson gnashing his teeth together in irritation, "And everyone has to participate!"

If Mr. Kinomiya escaped unscathed tonight, Kai would believe in God and guardian angels. Sighing, he went over to receive a dull black mask. Removing his own, he pulled the mask over his head and saw that Tyson had done the same.

One by one, members of the respective Beyblade teams took their masks. When the bag was empty, Mr. Kinomiya winked and without any warning at all, the lights were off and they were standing in pitch darkness. Almost immediately, there were protests and cries of indignation and anger, but Kai blocked all those noises from his mind.

But even the voices in the room, he felt a familiar fear crawl from the recesses of his mind back into his thoughts.

_Darkness surrounding him on all corners. He kept running, hoping for some light, hoping for someone to take him out of here. Where were his parents? Were they truly dead as his grandfather had said? He didn't believe it. The minute he got out of here, he was going to find them. They would be there somewhere, he thought. Somewhere in the light, where there is sun. Somewhere away from the oppressive darkness. But he groped for the walls, looking for the cracks, the light was forever denied to him. And there was no sounds, no light penetrating in this dark dream. Or is it a dream? Perhaps it was a botched up reality that he just realized the difference of. _

He gasped, pulling himself harshly from those thoughts. He berated himself for bringing up old ghosts at a time like this. Then stopped suddenly when he realized what he said.

_Bringing up old ghosts, old memories. _

Mr. Kinomiya wasn't joking when he said, 'the whispers of ghosts will lead you to your destination.'

But where was his destination? Where did he want to go? He heard the pitter-patter of footsteps around him, yet he never moved, feeling hopelessly lost and utterly foolish to run around in the dark. Blindly, he stretched out his hand, hoping for someone to grab it, to pull him out of his memories, to relinquish the tight grasp his past had on him.

So as his fingers stretched for some comfort, they were met with a warm hand. Unadulterated relief filled Kai and he clasped that hand tightly. For a minute he felt a brief fear that the person would shake his hand away and he would be alone again. But the person tightened his grip over Kai's hand and the fear vanished.

He didn't remember how long he stood there. It didn't feel like eternity, yet it wasn't short enough to be called a moment. But with the hand next to him, reminding to hold on, the fears and memories had died slowly.

Suddenly, the lights came on. Kai blinked, the light blinding him. As his eyes adjusted themselves, he found himself holding Tyson's hand. And Tyson was holding his. There was a general murmur of relief over the ordeal and the laughter and noise had resumed.

But none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was that Tyson was holding his hand and was letting go and moving away. That Tyson was still holding his hand and smiling.

Ghosts of the past be damned. He had his own guardian angel.

-XX-

**A/N: Slightly angsty, slightly fluffy, slightly weird and I'm pretty sure this isn't me. At least, I think it isn't. You guys might think otherwise. **

**It feels good to revive the TyKa. May it reign supreme.**

**-Whispers flitted through his ear-**

**-But went out the other-**

**-There was no more music tonight-**

—**Author's observation**

**SummerCapricorn: **I don't blame you. People rarely get my fics at times. ; I have a weird writing style which recently just got weirder…

**Lady Psychic: **I suppose it was.

**Kai's the Best: **Thank you. I appreciate that.

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Really? This just hit me one day. I never liked September for some reason, so I just put my feelings in the fic. That's probably why it was so weird actually.

**FireieGurl: **Thank you. I will.

**Yazzy: **Who's stopping you? Go write TyKa! TyKa is good for me.

**JadesRose: **Sashiburi (long time no see). I know, that's why I said my writing style is weirder now…

**Yami FireKali: **Kail-chan! You're alive! I'm sorry I haven't been writing much TyKa lately….?I will keep this thing running, so no worries, k?

**Kaay-chan: **Perhaps. We can hope (prays for a fourth season)

**Xzanayu: **Your wish is my command!


	3. November

**November  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-And you save yourself-**

**-for someone who loves you for you-**

**-So many times we give it away-**

**-For someone who, someone who cherishes you now-**

—"**Save yourself" Sensefield**

**A/N: Still on with the weird one-shots…this is going to be a trend I tell you…  
****Review responses are at the end.**

**-XX-**

November was a month of longing. Desires spring forth from the children's hearts as they wait for the day when school is over and they are allowed to be children again, instead of children turning into adults. Kai understood this quite well, having to go to school before. His teammates would understand too, except for Rei who had to take tutors in the village. There was no schoolhouse for them there.

But now, there was only a dull ache in his bones as he wished for school semester to end. Most of the Bladers returned to school (despite the fact they don't NEED to. They were paid richly enough as it is), so tournaments would only restart when school finished. And for Kai, there was nothing worse than just simply lounging around with nothing to do and no one to battle.

So he did the obvious; he trained.

Mind you, it wasn't because he felt the drawbacks of his power. It's just with nothing to do; at least Beyblading would keep him occupied. He wondered what Tyson was doing. The only one who ever bothered to get stronger (despite the fact he wasn't overly fond of training) and push his limits even further was Tyson. Was Tyson also simply lounging around with nothing to do (Tyson was one of those people who decided to stay professional) or was he training as vigorously as Kai?

Noticing his lack of concentration in his training at that moment, he decided to go over to Tyson's house. Simply to alleviate his boredom, nothing more than that.

So he kept telling himself. But he couldn't help remember that Halloween night, when that brief moment of fear gripped him tightly and Tyson held his hand throughout that time. And that instant complete relief that flooded his senses, so strongly that he felt ashamed by it.

Tyson didn't ask or say anything after that night. But he did have that soft knowledgeable smile that made Kai realize that there was no need to explain anything. So his trust with Tyson had jumped over new boundaries. When it came down to that, Kai knew he could always trust Tyson. Why? Perhaps it's because Tyson offered trust, the deep unconditional kind that never asks and never needs to know. Everyone wants to learn more about Kai, but Tyson never asks and if he did, or when he did, would Kai answer?

Kai stopped at the sidewalk, contemplating that question. Would he tell Tyson about his past if Tyson asked? Yes, no, maybe?

_I don't know. _

Ka felt a slight tremble to that sentence. Admitting things or truths about himself have always unnerved him. You simply never know, you see, when someone will come along and take advantage of that. Living for even three years in the abbey is tantamount proof of that. Even when he started the BladeSharks shortly after his escape, he didn't control them through trust or friendship. He used fear and he used it effectively. That was all that mattered anyway. Then he got caught up in the tournament (curse Dickenson for being manipulative) and had a team, a team which he hated because they were equal to him and he couldn't use them the way he used the BladeSharks.

It was daunting at times, but they grew on him. He was, after all, still human. He wondered how Tala managed life sometimes, being a cyborg. He had seen the 'adjustments' Boris and Voltaire had put on Tala. He remembered Tala's impassive sky-blue eyes as they inserted those 'components' into his stomach and his eyes. He remembered the continuous screaming despite the anesthetics laced into his veins. He wondered how Tala managed to live everyday like that.

It was hard to imagine, almost impossible if he hadn't been with Tala and lived with Tala for so long. But even so, when he shook hands with Tala, he would feel the concentrated steel on his fingers and shiver. But Tala was his…teammate once upon a time and they had shared much. Two lonely souls, dreaming for a world outside. Tyson wasn't like that. Tyson hasn't received his share of the pain and loneliness. Sometimes, he would be jealous of Tyson with his perfect life and perfect smile and…

But he couldn't hate him. There was jealously, envy, perhaps bitterness, but never hate. Not when…

Not when he owed him so much. Not when Tyson extended his hand whenever Kai needed it. In that Halloween party and…when he lay alone on the ice, drifting between his guilt and his shame.

He stopped suddenly, recognizing the blank white walls of Tyson's home. He had made it here, while still pondering the complexity of his and Tyson's relationship. It didn't seem right to call him a friend, when Tyson was so much more than that. So much more that it seem unjust to call him a 'friend'. But if Tyson wasn't a friend, what was he?

What was Tyson to him?

He decided to let the matter slide and opened the large wooden gate. His feet crunched the dead leaves scattered across the pathway and he smirked. It make sense that Tyson was shirking his chores irresponsibly. He looked up, the dojo towering above him. But before he could take another step, he heard a yell.

"Whirlwind attack!"

Kai barely had time to lunge out of the way when a silver-blue beyblade rushed towards him, scattering the dead leaves in his wake. He yelled as he hit the tree and watched with stunned eyes at the beyblade spinning past him. The beyblade was gathering the leaves from the ground and carrying it in its whirlwind.

_So much for shirking the chores,' _Kai thought with a smirk. Tyson had just invented a faster way of dealing with them. As usual, Tyson displays his innovativeness in his field of expertise. It never ceases to surprise him.

Tyson came huffing a few minute later and surveying his work of sweeping away the leaves, he recalled Dragoon and smiled. Then he saw Kai, slumped next to the tree.

"Kai? What happened? Did Dragoon hurt you? What are you doing here? Why didn't you call first? Didn't you learn it's good to knock first?"

Kai held up his hands in surrender as he got up, "Slow down," He said gruffly, "I came just for a visit and a battle. I was getting bored."

Tyson relaxed visibly, his eyes softening. Kai nearly looked away, that look almost made it hard to meet.

"Is that all?" Tyson said cheerfully, "Well then, Gramps just put up a new Beyblade dish behind the dojo. Why don't we try it?"

Kai nodded and he noticed that the soft knowing look had vanished.

It was the standard beyblading dish and there weren't any new scratch marks on it, signaling that Tyson hasn't been using it often. Tyson followed Kai's gaze and answered his unspoken question, "Well, Gramps finished it yesterday and I didn't feel like breaking it in yet."

"I see," Kai raised his blade, "Shall we?"

There was a feral grin that looked like it was suited for tigers and lions rather than people, on Tyson's face, "Of course."

And the blades spin in the air before descending onto the metallic dish. Kai watched his blade spin with an intensity that made the air around it heat up, unlike Tyson's blade that carried with it, the power of the Wind. As the blades slammed each other viciously, not giving each other any leeway, Kai found his eyes drifting towards Tyson.

Tyson's eyes were sharper than any nail he had ever seen, his eyes tracing the movements of his blade with a determination that scared Kai. But wasn't he a long time ago, just like that? Letting his passion for the sport devour him little by little, he allowed himself to sink to depths that shouldn't be attainable. Only the sinners, he remembered thinking on those dark days, could sink so low and not regret it.

_And yet, those same sinners received redemption. Are you a messiah meant for me, Tyson Kinomiya?_

He blinked as he found his blade by his feet. He bent down and picked it up quietly, staring at the flame designs around his blade. In the centre, in all her beauty was Dranzer, wreathed in glory. And he remembered what Black Dranzer looked like and how despite everytime he picked up that blade, he would feel a thrill of power and fear.

"There's something on your mind," It was a clear statement, as clear as Tyson's eyes at that moment. Tyson was slightly angry, he could see it in the firm set of his small mouth and the grim lines on his forehead, but there was worry.

How could he? _Why _should he?

"Why do you care?" Kai blurted out and then turned away as if embarrassed by his confession, "Why do you always care? I've never repaid you, so why do you? I offer you nothing, and yet you always come with open arms and…" He stopped suddenly and looked down at the ground.

"That's an easy question," Kai blinked in surprise and looked at Tyson, who was grinning, "You needed me, so I came. Does that really merit a 'why'?"

"No one's ever that giving," Kai said scowling, "No one gives anything and doesn't ask for anything in return. Not even you."

Tyson smirked slightly and cocked his head towards the sky, "You're right, I'm not that noble. I'm a very selfish person. I give you everything…because I don't want you to leave again," And his eyes were filled with the light of the Sun, the mist in his eyes clearing. Kai couldn't look away; the sight was intoxicating to his senses, "So I do everything, anything I can, just to give you a reason not to."

_And when the ice began floating away, he clasped the hand tightly and was enveloped by the blessed relief on Tyson's face. It made his choice to return all the more worthwhile. _

"I won't leave," There was a promise hidden in those words, "I won't."

Tyson looked surprised, but he smiled, "That makes me feel a lot better, you know," He sighed and looked away, "I won't lose you again."

Kai smirked, "I'll remember that." Slipping his blade into his pocket, he felt the warmth radiating from the heated blade. Smiling, he walked away from the dojo, knowing that Tyson's eyes were following him all the way.

He expected Tyson to do no less.

-XX-

**A/N: ….I like this one…**

**-It's isn't only about giving-**

**-It's about receiving as well-**

**-And appreciating it-**

—**Author's observations**

**JadesRose: **Thank you. I hope I continue to live up to your expectations

**Hiyami: **…You make writing ten chapters easy…

**Yazzy: **I thought so too. But Rei ended up getting a lot of extra training. Yes, Kai is sadistic.

**Serena429: **I am doing the whole year…(sighs) My other fics are suffering…

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Rather obvious ending that it was…I guess that's how fluff works…clichéd to the end…

**Roxanne Morinaka: **Yes, there will be more. About nine chapters at least

**Kaay-chan: **I'm glad you did.

**FireieGurl: **Here's your update!

**Yami FireKali: **Arigatou Kali-chan! This place is so badly overrun by Sues, I'm too scared to go there anymore!

**XZanayu: **His…light….ano…isn't that more Yu-Gi-Oh? Kind of thing? Still, it's a nice compliment!

**Kai's the Best: **Don't know about that ASAP stuff. I'll write and post as soon as possible, but I have other works to do, plus school. Cut me some slack!


	4. December

**December**

**By Timberwolf220**

**-Far away…long ago-**

**-Glowing dim as an ember-**

**-Things my heart used to know-**

**-Things it yearns to remember-**

—'**Once upon a December' Anastacia soundtrack**

**A/N: I thought I'd be seasonal and post this up in Christmas. But since you guys can't appreciate a good joke and would maim me, I decided not to. Still this fic is very popular for reasons unknown to me. What is it about these weird one-shots that you guys like about so much anyway?**

**-XX-**

'_Away in a manger'_

'_No crib for a bed'_

'_The Little Lord Jesus'_

'_Laid down his sweet head'_

'_The stars in the bright sky'_

'_Looked down where he lay'_

'_The Little Lord Jesus'_

'_Asleep on the hay'_

'_I love thee Lord Jesus'_

'_Look down form the sky'_

'_And stay by my side'_

'_Until morning is nigh'_

There was some secret power in those words, in this season, that made people do things they wouldn't ordinarily be caught doing. People would give money to charity, go singing in the streets, give each other presents and stuff like that which would make a normal person gag from the sappiness.

But Kai actually enjoyed this time of the year. If he thought about it hard enough, he would receive glimpses of a forgotten past. But more importantly were the feelings that came with them. Warm, gentle feelings giving a sense of calm denied to him in this world. And perhaps if he tried hard enough, he would never forget them. It was rather pathetic of him, clinging onto a memory that lost meaning when that accident happened, but then Kai was a pathetic man, wasn't he? Always bowing down to the restraints of a past he had no control over.

Yet…this season was special and Kai appreciated special things.

So he shouldered the package he was carrying and walked onwards. It was snowing lightly that evening, like a slow rainfall down to earth. The snow was being laced in his hair as he walked down the flurry path. The snow was soft and yielding to his feet and the wind brushed against his armbands, making him shiver slightly.

Why was he doing this exactly? He stopped and looked upwards. Because he wanted to prove to Tyson that he could help him too? Was that it?

_I give you everything…because I don't want you to leave again_

Maybe it was the feeling behind it, Kai mused, just that… it simply felt right…how truthful that admission was. Tyson told him that feelings matter and people have to act on it. Was that the basis of Tyson's strength? Was that were Tyson drew out his infinite power, his prowess, the ability to crush anyone who dares to come in his path. Doesn't anyone ever fear Tyson, fear that invincibility?

He chuckled to himself. Lately, his thoughts not matter where they start seem to return to Tyson. As if Tyson was an enigmatic figure Kai's mind tried to comprehend. Considering that Kai spent his life with the most complex character for about five to six years (A/N: If you haven't realized, he was referring to Tala) and yet, Tyson seemed to elude him.

For some reason, it made him uneasy. He wasn't fond of things he couldn't understand. If you didn't understand, that means you didn't have control over the situation and that is usually fatal. Yet, he can't seem to grasp Tyson and Tyson understands him almost effortlessly. Tyson was holding all the cards and Kai had the feeling Tyson could pull out the royal flush whenever he wishes to.

So why doesn't he?

He stopped and looked at the streetlights. They were emitting a soft aureole around it and it was like looking at a large firefly. He shook his head and walked onwards. Maybe some things in life just defied explanation…and Tyson was one of them.

"Thinking of me?"

Kai started and turned around. There, in all his glory, was Tyson. There was a grin on his face and his eyes were dancing with the light of the aureole lamps. His hair was tied back in its usual style, but as Kai looked deeper, Tyson seemed…different. As if he was glowing, full of some unknown power that filled his body. Stronger than the light that the street lamps seemed to echo.

Tyson glanced at the package in Kai's hands and grinned, "For me?"

"Don't kid yourself," Kai retorted immediately out of instinct. He flushed and turned away, "I just…" _needed to prove something to you for a change instead of you proving to me of my existence. _

_I need to show you that I care to._

_That I can save you too. _

Tyson said nothing, looking quizzically at Kai whose eyes seemed to be showing some sort of inner turmoil. He came closer, closer than most people are allowed to. You see, Kai has his 'space' and no one was allowed to come near it.

Except Tyson.

Only Tyson.

Why was it always Tyson?

Tyson was now about a foot away from Kai. Quietly he traced Kai's face with his finger, running down the smooth lines of his cheek. Kai's eyes fluttered slightly at the touch. There was no uneasiness, there was no fear, and there was no pain. Just simple acceptance and presence. They needed no words sometimes; they've passed the normal human boundaries. Now they must step pass the doubt and make way.

They were silent for a long time.

Tyson grinned, "You're worried."

"A little," Kai admitted, "I'm…new to this."

_I'm new, but I will learn. _

_Can you teach me Tyson?_

Tyson dropped his hand from Kai's cheek and Kai felt a strange sense of coldness brushing the uncovered area. Tyson looked upwards. Kai wondered why he did that so often. Were the answers lying there in the frost flecked sky? Is that where Tyson drew his wisdom from, his patience and strength?

Maybe if he looked hard enough, maybe he would also receive that divine power. Maybe his questions will be answered by the shimmer of stars in the sky.

"It's Christmas," Tyson said softly, looking at Kai, "Do you want to exchange presents?"

Kai nodded and rummaged through his package. In it was a poster of YinYang, and in the halves of the circle were a dragon and a phoenix. The dragon was smooth and fluid like a stream and it had large yellow that seemed to see past the poster. The phoenix was jagged; like mountains were made to be its wings and it had narrow white eyes. Its beak was open in a silent scream, but the dragon's jaw was closed.

Tyson held it up and smiled almost sarcastically, his lips curving. Kai spoke hurriedly as if the need of justifying the poster and his inane need to give Tyson a present, "The Yin Yang has two forces; positive and negative. I did some research and I heard that the Dragon and the Phoenix are two integral parts of Yin Yang, belonging to the Xeniq Cross (1). I don't know, but I thought," Kai looked upwards as if in awkwardness, "I thought you would like it."

"I do."

Kai looked at him. There was no pity, no compassion, just that overwhelming feeling that engulfed his chest and poured through his eyes. Tyson did like it. He liked the gift that Kai gave him. Kai stared at the dragon on the poster and smiled. A true honest smile; the kind that only Tyson had the privilege of seeing.

"Thank you."

Tyson smiled, "I suppose you want your present now?"

Kai choked, "For me?"

Tyson's eyes twinkled, "_Especially _for you."

And Tyson leaned forward and brushed his lips gently over Kai's own. Kai's eyes widened and he blushed slightly. The heat spilled from Tyson's breath and he shivered. It was just a touch, just a brush. Nothing strong or heated or deeply passionate like those kisses you see on romantic movies.

It was just a touch. Like lovers holding hands for the first time or someone's head laid on your shoulder. It was…beautiful, like the silent good deed of a good person done in the darkness of night. Like angels smiling down at human people, like receiving a hug from the person you love. It made him feel…happy.

Tyson opened his eyes and looked at Kai, "This is my Christmas present from me to you."

Kai smirked slightly, getting his bearings over the situation, "My best Christmas present ever."

**-XX-**

**A/N: Kinda short. Yet kinda pretty too. (shrugs) I wonder how I'm going to keep this going, but at least you guys saw some progress. So that makes you happy fangirls now, doesn't it? **

**Those who believe in Yin Yang, here's some clarification. Those who don't, listen anyway. It's useful. Yin male/positive (Phoenix and Tiger), Yang female/negative (Dragon). **

**The thing about Yin Yang is that only Dragon/Phoenix unions are allowed (and Dragon/Tiger). Phoenix/Tiger is impossible because they are both positive, hence the Yin Yang cannot function. **

**And yes, I am subtly hinting something there. Be smart and figure it out. **

**Loveisagiftuseitwisely: **All reviews are answered, so no worries. This will be updated quickly.

**Serena429: **I suppose, but my reviewers are worse than rabid dogs when it comes to my updates. (shudders) Mutilation is the least of my worries nowadays.

**Flamable-Devil: **Jen-chan! These stories are very random actually. Most of the time, I put more of my feelings in this than Kai's. Kai and I have a lot in common.

**FireieGurl: **Here's your next chapter. I hope you like it.

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Updated. This one seems to be taking priority over my other fics.

**Queen Phoenix: **…It wasn't meant to be perverted, you know…

**Yazzy: **Kai's past will have a big role in this, but I hope to put it under a different light instead of the continuous Abbey and Voltaire references. It tends to get on my nerves. Originality counts! And I love Tala too.

**XZanayu: **Continuing!

**Yukiko-Angel: **Yes, this is a progressing relationship. I don't want outright romance just yet. Things take time to work.

**Dark-She-Deivl: **Thank you. I'm glad my stories are appreciated.

**Kaay-chan: **I'm glad. I liked that one too.

**Shadowy recesses OTM: **December is here!

**Pink Feline: **TyKa will always be written by me. KaRe is a really weird pairing.

**Luvyagal: **No, it's not blurted out. Probably because Kai is one dense chicken.

Kai: Chicken? I dare you to repeat that.

Me: Chicken! Chicken!Chicken!Chicken!

Kai: …That was mean..

**Hiyami: **My God, you're good. You guessed it already!

**Lady Kirei: **Subtlety is my favourite way of writing. I'm glad you liked it.

**-A present given with an open heart-**

**-And loosely wrapped-**

**-Is worth far more than you know-**


	5. January

**January**

**By Timberwolf220**

**-Don't try, try to pretend that it doesn't hurt-**

**-You don't have to be perfect, 'cause no one can be-**

**-If your tears can't stop fallin', just reach out your hand-**

**-All you gotta do it believe, just believe in yourself-**

**-and just let go...-**

—"**Rebirth" Hiroaki Hirata (Gensomauden Saiyuki)**

**A/N: Hopelessly Saiyuki-hooked. How can anyone not like those series? They're so fanservicey! And their soundtrack rocks!**

**For those, who don't know, I was born on January 15th. So this will be a special one.**

**Review responses are at the end, as usual.**

**-XX-**

And just like that, he woke up. Shaking, he put his upturned palm on his forehead and when he removed, he smelt the sweat on it. He got up, his arms trembling. He reached for the towel hanging on his chair and wiped his face. Running a hand through his hair, he in a sudden fit, flung the towel away. It fell to the floor fluttering like a leaf carried away in the turbulent wind. He sighed and got up, unconsciously cringing as his feet touched the cool floor.

_It wasn't a nightmare_, he thought to himself as he made his way to the bathroom_, it was a wish_. A dream he had long forgotten, until now. A desire strong and pulsating, the kind that throbbed against your ribcage until it had been fulfilled. It hadn't.

But the desire had dulled, like a blade unused and dusty. He had given up, or more of less, left it to others to become better. He was good and it was hard for people to reach his level, but now…he didn't want to be the best. He was happy…with what he had.

And _that _was why it was scarier than any nightmare.

The shower was on and he relished the warm touch on his skin, coating him like a second skin. Like…

_Tyson's lips brushing against his gently. Just a touch, nothing more…_

Kai scowled. What was he, a girl? He didn't like being mocked like this, like a person who couldn't handle large doses of affection.

He paused suddenly. If Tyson had showered with large amounts of affection, would he been able to handle it at all? No, he wouldn't. He would have run, he would shove him away, he would not meet Tyson's eyes.

He wouldn't be able to handle. Heh, that makes him worse than a girl in his opinion. Afraid of all corners of his life. Tyson did it the right way. He knew exactly how Kai would react, so he did it the simplest way possible.

Kai grimaced and turned the water to cold. A cold shower would wake him up to this reality.

And he enjoyed it. From a person he considered his rival, his contemporary, his….

His what? What was Tyson anyway?

_This is bad, _he thought, _as if my mind is fixated on him. Like a drug I tasted just briefly and it has consumed me so utterly that I've lost my semblance of self. _He remembered how he bragged about being independent from anyone and how he could manage on his own. Now, his mind seemed to connect everything he does, works or sleeps.

Tyson comes to him in his dreams as well.

It was an obsession. And it has to stop. Kai would not allow himself to share hands or shoulder with anyone. He walks on his own and that is his rule for his life. Nothing else mattered. Yet, turning his back on everyone again, especially when he told Tyson he wouldn't. Was he scum enough to?

But this did have to stop. This continued reliance on Tyson. You can't depend on anyone forever, people leave, people have other priorities, and people _don't_ need extra baggage. And Kai counted as extra baggage. The way he always came to Tyson, relying on him like a dependent drug addict. Tyson was his drug, free and willing and so delicious that no sane man would turn it away. It somewhat disgusted Kai to the core, that he was taking the drug and unable to stop.

He turned the shower off and tied the towel around his waist. Tentatively, mindful of the cold floor, he slipped into his slippers and walked back to his bedroom. He drew back the curtains, letting the sunlight strike him in the eyes. Blinking, he noticed it was still snowing lightly. When he looked downwards, there were two boys playing Beyblade. They were laughing and their breath crystallized into white mist outside their faces. Kai smiled slightly and then frowned.

Was he ever like that? Just simply _enjoyed _a friendly game of Beyblade without worrying about the consequences? Sometimes, but there was always the drive of winning. And that too, has faded in the light of Tyson, who takes it as it comes. Who has made him forget the whole point of winning and losing.

It wasn't as disappointing a revelation as he thought it would be.

Drying his hair, he slipped on his black pants and his armguards. They felt leathery against his skin and he winced slightly. He put them now out of habit. It was necessary to protect your arms for Beyblading and he wore it religiously. Now, it was a dull part of his monotonous daily routine. Shrugging, he put his dark red sleeveless top and sighed. He wanted to go out today. Just needed some fresh air into his system, maybe it would also clear his mind. Wearing his trademark scarf and boots and with that thought in mind, he stepped outside his apartment.

He was walking aimlessly and he knew it. His feet scuffed on the white blanketed floor of snow and his head was bent on all times. As if he couldn't bother to meet anyone in the eye. His scarf was curled protectively around his neck and he stopped and looked upwards.

_Maybe he looked at the sky hard enough; he would find all his answers there. _

_Maybe he would see what Tyson sees as well in the sky. _

He was dreaming, walking in a world where he couldn't discern which was which. It was harrowing and almost frightening in its intensity, the way his thoughts were so…focused on something, a person so different from himself in all aspects. Even the colours they bore, from the eyes to the hair was so contrasting at times that it never ceased to amuse him.

He turned and saw an empty garden walkway that seemed untouched by the footsteps of man. It seemed pristine and beautiful in its loneliness. Smirking slightly to himself, he walked towards the path.

It led to a circle area with a large cherry blossom tree. The blossoms had withered in the onslaught of cold wind, but some blossoms lingered, coated with a slight white dusting that made it seem ethereal. There was a bench facing this cherry blossom tree and Kai realized with a start exactly where he was.

The same place where he and Tyson talked about his parents and Tyson's mother.

Unbelievable, he thought to himself, even when he tried to look the other way, he still ended up running back to Tyson. It was like those legends about soul-mates and eternal love. Legends, mind you, nothing more.

Yet, it soothed him to know where he was. Like a wash of understanding has cleared his aching brow and wiped it clean. As if those cluttered up thoughts in his head were finally put in orderly stacks. And he knew where to go now. And he knew where his answers could be found.

_Maybe the sky doesn't hold the answers anymore._

_Maybe he does, so he looks up to it in happiness. _

_It is the feeling of discovery. _

Kai closed his eyes as the snow fell, caressing his cheek and mingling with his hair. He breathed slowly as if reveling in the feeling of discovery, of knowing where he must go.

He belonged to Tyson. Everything, every part of himself belonged to Tyson. That is why he returned to him, that is why his thoughts are centered on him. Because every fiber of his being has a center and it's not his heart, nor is it his mind.

The snow fell faster, but he didn't care about the numbing of his arms. His face lost more of its colour, but his eyes were still bright, like embers in a dying fire. He had understood for the first time in his life the concept of ownership, the force behind every sappy song and lyric every written or song. He understood why girls hunted for the guy of their dreams, understood the jewels that sparkle on one's hands, understood why the snow is falling onto the earth in spirals like a ballet.

_I belong to him._

And when he remembered Tyson's smile in his dream, he realized that Tyson belonged to him as well.

**-XX-**

**A/N: Shorter than the others and no Tyson in this time (can't have a monotonous pattern, now can I? That's not original). But this is flowing along nicely and I like writing these. Maybe next time I'll write a Beyblade story with more plot, but you guys like these, so I'm content. **

**Watch Saiyuki! (subtle message)**

**-The snow is like my tears-**

**-Of happiness and sorrow, who knows?-**

**-Let the snow fall like tears-**

—**Author's Observations**

**serena429: **I will update, so don't maim me. But I have exams coming, so they might be slow.

**JadesRose: **Sometimes, it's the simpler things that matter. I'm a idealist at heart, as you can see.

**Yazzy: **I'm not too fond of that pairing. There's no dynamic between them. And Tala/Lee? Did they even ever meet? Such is the world of fanfiction I suppose…

**FireieGurl: **Sorry this took so long, but here's your update.

**Luvyagal: **Hmmm…I suppose they have a silent relationship. You don't need to say words like 'I love you' all the time, you know? It's the actions and the hidden messages that count. And the odds of Kai saying 'I love you' are one to nothing. In this fic, at any rate.

**Yukiko-Angel: **Nice to see the minds of Beyblade reviewers are still active. I did make it rather obvious though…

**xXxAngel VxXx: **And another genius reviewer we have here! (claps for you)

**Person: **They are. Just an experiment I wanted to try my hand in. I call this the 'Nanashi Ni' formula. She does this for almost half her stories. Go read her stuff, it's pretty good. And funny. Mostly funny.

**Minako Mikoto: **World Religion class does wonders. And General Knowledge also helps too.

**Kaay-chan: **I'm glad you like it. Stuff like that makes me want to continue.

**Loveisagiftuseitwisely: **Continuing, so no worries.

**Lady Kirei: **You were going to cry. I didn't realize the depth of emotion I had put in this story. I'm glad it made such an impact on you.

**Queen Phoenix: **I'm not sure, but Tala always struck me as the most complex character, after Kai. He has some interesting parallels to explore.

**Hiyami: **I don't know about action than feelings, but I'll try to add more action in this.

**DrippingRed: **That's a rather morbid penname you have there. Tyson does mature in the third season considerably and tries not to rely on Kai so much as his brother said. And I like writing a mature Tyson. Kai does some really stupid things sometimes and Tyson has to pull him out of it! At least, that's how I see it.


	6. February

**February**

**By Timberwolf220**

**-Muichimotsu-**

**-If you see Buddha on the road, kill him-**

**-If you see your ancestor on the road, kill him-**

**-Beholden to nothing, unfettered-**

**-Merely living for life itself-**

—**Genjo Sanzo "Saiyuki"**

**A/N: Still at it, I promise! I'm not planning to stop any time soon, okay? I just took a break! Still hopelessly Saiyuki-hooked. Does anyone know any good sites to pick up Saiyuki music downloads?**

-XX-

_I belong to him. _

It was a revelation he accepted with ease nowadays. It came to him naturally it seems, like the passing of the seasons. And with the passing of the seasons, his eyes seemed to open, just like a babe's. A child still too little to see, but every day, a new thing is revealed to him. And in January he had a connection, a sudden flash of insight that made him think back to everything that has happened before.

_Should he tell Tyson?_

He put on his coat. The snowfall had stopped, but the drop in temperature hadn't, so he didn't take any risks. He was used to Russian weather and this didn't even compare it, but it was better to be 'safer than sorrier' later on. He walked, his feet crunching the white ice on the sidewalks. The sound rang in his ears. During the winter season, Kai rarely went out and made it a point not to have practices during that time. Simply for two reasons, one being that the only place you can blade is inside and that is a liability and tends to cramp up the style and the second reason was more personal; Kai simply didn't like snow. True, he went out in it every once in a while, but he didn't like snow.

_And when he tells Tyson, what then? _

It was a double-edged question and Kai could feel the weight of it on his hands. It was something he was comfortable with, not in the least. And how would Tyson react? With his all-knowing smile or would he shrug it away? What would happen? And why did Kai even care?

_What would life be…without Tyson?_

Kai tried to imagine that. Tried to imagine what would have happened if he never met Tyson that fateful evening when Carlos messed up. Tried to imagine what would have happened if he never lost to Tyson in Baycity tournament. Tried to remember how noisy it was with Tyson and Max and tried to recall how Tyson smiled. He remembered the smile from that time. It seemed to stick in his head for no reason.

It was a wide smile, he recalled with a certain fondness, wide enough to contain civilizations in it and broad enough to submerge oceans. It was a pale smile (Tyson's lips were unusually pale) and his cheeks would be full of colour, as if he had fields of roses growing inside his cheeks. A rather poetic view to take, but Kai remembered when Tyson received a compliment, those cheeks would flush and that broad smile was seen. He also remembered that he liked in particular, but he remembered it all the same, oddly enough.

_Life…without Tyson…_

It sounded dull for some reason. He remembered the time he was with the Blade Sharks, how he spent aching hours simply listening to the grinding of his blade against the metal of the dish, how he spent his time looking at the Sun and simply closing his eyes in contemplation. He acted like he knew everything around him, as if he was mature enough.

The choice of Black Dranzer just proved to him that he was still a child.

_And when their hands clasped together, Kai believed everything could be forgiven by the blessed relief on Tyson's face._

…And how he needed to be saved.

_Dependence and Independence…how closely they are intertwined. Could you really be happy simply by yourself?_

"_I need you," Tyson said, "I'm being selfish by helping you for that reason only, but I'm human too. And I need you," Their eyes locked, "And I can't deny that."_

"This is the third time you came to see me," Tyson said, coming up beside him, "I must be special," He said in a joking manner, but his eyes were very serious. Set in stone, thick granite blocks, that what they seemed to him.

"Or incredibly lucky," Kai said sarcastically, yet there was no real sting in those words. The bees of his voice have gone for better pastures it seems, he thought to himself.

"That too," Tyson amended, nodding slightly.

"Where did you go?" Kai said, noting that he hadn't made much leeway and he was still a fair distance from Tyson's house (A/N: They're on the sidewalk)

There was a hesitant note in Tyson's voice that clearly reflected itself in his movements and his eyes. His hands twitched slightly and his eyes seemed murkier with its dark blue swirls than it usually was, "I went…to the doctor."

"The doctor?" Kai spun his head so quickly that his neck suffered whiplash. He winced and rubbed the back of his neck soothingly to reduce the pain as he spoke, "Why the doctor?" Each word was enunciated with a certain emphasis, indicating that if his question wasn't answered, the person would meet with a rather painful death.

Tyson wasn't deterred in the least (in fact, he ignored it completely. This just shows how much _respect _his teammates gave their _captain. _He should toughen up their training sessions) as he answered, "I caught a bad flu a few weeks back. It must have been the weather. Though I recovered, he wanted to make sure."

That seemed plausible, but it didn't seem right. Kai's eyes narrowed, but he didn't say anything, letting the matter drop. For now, at any rate, since he really couldn't do anything otherwise.

Tyson smiled slightly as he moved his hands, "It stopped snowing, didn't it? Soon, spring will come and then…" His lips were upturned and he closed his eyes in delight.

Kai suddenly felt an unknown chill run through his veins on his arms. As if those words were prophetically dangerous. As if Tyson was predicting the destruction of Kai's world… or his own. Kai shook his head hurried, trying to drive that notion from his head. He was overreacting, he knew it.

Tyson looked down at the ground, "…I'm being stupid, aren't I?" His voice was slightly above a whisper, yet Kai had to strain his ears to catch the despondent words.

"Hm," Kai said simply and pointed to the bench on the sidewalk, "Sit down."

Tyson agreed compliantly as they sat down, after brushing away the icy white dusting from the bench. Tyson continued to look downwards and Kai felt the emergence of his temper. Usually he expected Tyson to be aloof and…certain. Never feeling the edge and gnaw of doubt. But then again, Tyson is human too. Undeniably so.

"Seize the day," Kai said suddenly.

Tyson looked at him, puzzlement lingering in his eyes.

"Carpe Diem. In English, the phrase means, 'Seize the day'," Kai felt his tongue loosen slightly and his words began to fall from his mouth faster than any rapid waterfall, "I…I always pictured you to be like that. Live to the fullest, don't live with regrets. I imagined that one day…you would tell me that instead of the other way around. You always seem to pull me out of my past," Kai bent slightly to stare at his hands, those pale white hands that always seemed so much like a child's, "You said you needed me. Well… I'm here now, aren't I?"

And like the slow blossoming of a flower which only a careful and appreciative person saw, Kai felt the smile (rather than seeing it) and it enveloped him, like a blanket that wraps around a baby's body in the night. Kai felt his face flush and realized how 'unlike' himself he was acting.

"Then I should live up to your expectations," Tyson said brightly, "Can't let the Mighty Kai down now, can I?"

Kai glared at him, "Don't push it."

"Uh huh," Tyson said getting up, "Why did you want to see me today for?"

Kai suddenly felt lost, "How…did you know that?"

"You were on route to my house, that's how I knew," Tyson said simply, causing Kai to shut in mouth and look away, "Something on your mind?"

It was Kai's turn to look down, "I…"

He was suddenly startled by the hand thrust near his face. He blinked and looked upwards. Tyson was smiling, that soothing smile, that all-knowing smile and Kai felt all his worries laid to rest somewhere far from his mind.

"Tell me at home, not in the middle of a public street," Tyson said and waved his hand slightly, "Coming?"

Kai smirked slightly and grasped his hand.

_And when Kai was on solid ground once more, he never even realized that Tyson hadn't let go of his hand even once. Not that it mattered, since Kai never even released Tyson's hand and never even planned to._

**-XX-**

**A/N: I believe that the city they live in is Baycity right? A bit sketchy at that part. But now we see at least that it's not a completely one-sided relationship and Kai throws in his two-bits to help Tyson as well. The last two parts that are italicized are parts taken when Kai was on the ice (that sounds funny for some reason) and Tyson pulled him out. Of course, I meddled with those parts a bit, but hey! Creative license! How else are we supposed to 'free our minds'?**

**-Do not forget-**

**-The Hand that pulled you forward-**

**-And the Hand that kept you back-**

—**Author's observations**

**Hiyami: **Wow, you have the same birthday? That's so cool! (come to think of it, I share a lot of birthdays with people…) 'O' levels, huh? I'm doing I.B though. Don't know which one is harder, but I.B gives you a run for your money.

**Kaay-chan: **I'm glad you liked it. But I think this one is good as well.

**Queen Phoenix: **This story is more Kai-centric (I'm no good with writing Tyson) but Tyson does show up most of the time (almost all the time actually). I'm glad you like this story though.

**Luvyagal: **I don't think Kai is quite sure actually. In fact, I haven't really considered the 'boyfriend' idea. Come to think of it, they're pretty much a married couple.

**Serena429: **Well, I do want to become a writer and publish my work, but it's a hard occupation. Thanks for the support though.

**FireieGurl: **The TyKa shall never die. Not when I'm still around.

**JadesRose: **Thank you.

**Yukiko Angel: **I'm glad the TyKa is still alive. Considering that the Beyblade section is overrun with OCS and Rei/Kai…(shudders)

**xXxAngel VxXx: **I prefer complicated stuff (makes you think and use your head), but I'm glad you didn't get lost. Some people tend to get lost when it comes to my writing.

**Minako Mikoto: **Kai is a sap. An awful one. Don't you agree?

Kai: You're an evil person.

Me: I never denied it, Kai dear.

**XZanayu: **Kai and Tyson do belong together! Have you seen G-Rev? The shounen-ai hints are packed!

**Yazzy: **Recommended reads should be from writers; D-chan, Iapetus, Halluncination, Pervasive Threnody, sticcher2ficcer, keisje. They write Sanzo/Goku (which is my favourite!). And I don't know how…Tala/Lee would work…gomen…

**Yami FireKali: **You're a Saiyuki addict? I love you Kali-chan! Let's get together and rumble! And I'm glad you liked this fic! It means a lot (considering this started as a one-shot)

**Plushie Heartless: **I'm touched that you had the time to review each chapter. It shows that I am improving as a writer and people genuinely like to read my work. Thank you.


	7. March

**March  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-Sanzo, Son Goku needs your light. It seems I will never be the Sun for him-  
**—**Homura Toushin Taishi (War God Homura) "Saiyuki"**

**A/N: Just keep writing, just keep writing, just keep writing,  
****(Dory's "Just keep swimming" tune) **

**-XX-**

It wasn't easy to describe this time of year. It's finally springtime and training had resumed as usual. His teammates were being unusually serious about their training practices, something that surprised him even now. But then again, it's hard to expect them to stay the same after all they have been through. The whole incident with Voltaire was enough to damage anyone's psyche, yet they emerged victorious, ignoring their battle scars.

_Actually, _Kai thought as he watched Rei battle Tyson, _we have Tyson to thank for that. _

They had come far; farther than they thought they would. There were so many times, Kai could recall when he thought they could never make another step beyond what they had. Perhaps it had been the journey itself that strengthened them; perhaps it was the strength that lingered inside of them that finally emerged, like a butterfly from the chrysalis.

_And we were triumphant, _Kai noted with a hint of pleasure as Rei's blade skirted on the rim of the dish as Dragoon battered it mercilessly. Tyson held his ever-present smirk and his eyes had a feral glint unlike Rei's own catlike amber. With one vicious push, Rei's blade was outside the dish and Dragoon was spinning happily, mirroring the happiness in Tyson's eyes. Rei picked up his blade quietly and smirked, "I think I deserve a rematch Tyson."

"But you weren't even trying Rei!" Tyson protested, "Besides, I have to blade Kai now."

Rei's eyes fell on him and Kai felt an unknown jolt run down his spine. It wasn't fear that he was feeling, rather it was an apprehension that seemed to swallow him slightly. He steeled himself quietly as Rei's eyes roved over him. Those amber eyes narrowed almost menacingly and Kai heard a deep rumble from Rei's throat.

It must have been his imagination because immediately, Rei was cordial and amicable again and there was no resentment burning in the back of his eyes. Rei had turned his head to face Tyson, "Not even another match? Just a small one?"

Didn't Tyson just say that he was going to battle him next? Now it was Kai's turn to glare heatedly at Rei and pulled at Tyson's arm slightly, "He's battling me," Kai stated shortly and dragged Tyson away to the dish away from Rei. Tyson didn't protest and when Kai looked back on his face, Tyson was smiling and there was a twinkle of knowledge in his eye. Kai didn't look back after that, not until Rei was nothing but a slight speck in his view.

"Why so eager to battle me Kai?" Tyson asked as he readied his shooter, "Do you want to be beaten into the ground?"

"You give yourself too much credit," Kai retorted easily, falling back into their banter routine, "I can beat you and you know that."

"True," Tyson said taking a stance, "But this isn't about blading anymore, is it?"

Kai was so startled that he nearly dropped his shooter in surprise. His eyebrows hit his hairline. Was Tyson hinting at an innuendo? No, it wasn't that.

Suddenly Kai's hands felt clammy and he didn't feel the burn of blading anymore. He sighed and ran a hand through his duel-hair. Why was everything so confusing? Every time he felt as if he was losing precious time and some instinct told him that if he didn't act quickly enough, he won't see Tyson again. And he hoped that his instincts were wrong this time.

They usually are.

"Kai?" Tyson took in the sweating hands and put down his shooter, "What's wrong?" There was genuine concern in his voice. With Tyson, everything is genuine. Did Tyson even know how to lie? To cheat? To steal? Did Tyson ever feel the temptation of the vices of God? How can he be like this, act like this, everyday? How can you never feel inadequate with yourself?

How can you be human if you are perfect?

"Kai?"

Kai found his tongue working again, "What are we Tyson?"

For the first time, he lost Tyson for he blinked and looked thoroughly confused with Kai's question. Kai felt an internal smirk at that, finally sensing an upper ground to pit his …his what?

"What are we Tyson?" Kai said again, as if he was speaking to himself rather than Tyson, "Friends? Lovers? Boyfriends? What are we supposed to be? You keep leading me on, but then you leave me all confused. So, tell me," And there was no hesitation in his eyes, "What are we?"

Tyson was quiet, so quiet that Kai wanted to scream and bring back the noise that usually accompanied Tyson. Kai sat down, wondering what Tyson's reaction would be. Would Tyson have an answer for this like he always did? Sometimes, Kai wished he could shake that shell of placidness from him, to remove that aloof attitude that Tyson had developed because Kai couldn't recall it ever being there in the youth before.

"…What do you want us be, Kai?"

Kai jerked his head upwards and got onto his feet. Tyson was looking everywhere but Kai's face, "I don't know what you want. If you want something from me, I'll give it to you." Now Tyson's eyes were brimming with determination. Kai felt a lump emerge in his throat and swallowed nervously.

"I just don't want you to lead me like this," Kai shook his hands slightly for emphasis and feeling quite lost as well, "…I don't know what to do with you anymore," He admitted.

"You still haven't told me what you want," Now it was Tyson prodding the question further. Kai should have realized that once mentioned, Tyson won't let the matter rest, "What do you want Kai?"

_What do I want? _

…_hands held together for a moment crystallized in time…_

…_a slight brushing of lips…_

…_the snow drifting to earth in a blissful symphony…_

…_smiles that made you forget the world…_

…_what do I want?_

"This," With four swift steps, Kai approached Tyson and crushed their lips together.

This wasn't like the soft gentle kiss that he first exchanged with Tyson. This was like a dam just broke inside of him and out came the spilled feelings, mixed with milk, sugar, water, bile, bitterness and there was something stronger, something that made his feelings almost seem connected and almost pleasurable to taste. Tyson moaned slightly and he unconsciously deepened the kiss. Images flashed in his head, hazed in blues and grays. Kai couldn't think, his whole being centered on that kiss and only that kiss.

They broke apart for air and Kai noticed smugly that Tyson seemed out of breath and rather frazzled. His cheeks were pink from the lack of air and his lips seemed almost bruised in the red colour. They stared at each other, wondering what happens next.

(and somewhere in heaven, a certain merciful goddess laughed and pointed a finger at them)

"What will it be Kai?" Tyson spoke finally, "What do you want me to be for you?"

_what can be for you? _

_anything, just ask, and I'll give it to you_

_just like I've always have_

_just like I always will_

_everything I have_

_is yours…_

Tyson remained silent, also reining himself in. Kai was equally quiet and looked at him.

_what do I want?_

_Perhaps…_

"Nothing," Tyson let out a gasp he didn't know he was holding in. Kai was looking at him neutrally, "I want you to be Tyson for me, just like you've always have been. That's enough."

There was a hidden uncovered promise in the air. _For now, _it whispered in their hearts and smiled as it was whisked by the spring air.

"But," Kai trailed off, watching Tyson's face in faint amusement, "I get privileges that others don't."

Tyson's breathless laughter filled the air around them stronger than any orchestra could, "And what kind of benefits, Kai Hiwatari?"

Kai smirked, "The kind only I can bestow," He said as he dropped his lips onto Tyson's once more.

-XX-

**A/N: Eeks, please say my creativity for this story isn't drying up! Say it isn't so! (don't worry, it ain't so) At any rate, updates might be slower than usual, because of my exams. Be a sympathetic reviewer and wait 'til the exams are done. That would be much appreciated. **

**I want more Saiyuki. I only have 40 episodes and I feel I should have more. Major shopping I must do when I go home.**

**-Lover, brother or friend-  
****-Just remember this one fact-  
****-I will be with you 'til the end-  
**—**Author's observations**

**Queen Phoenix: **I suppose it is in a way. Kai is finally opening his eyes to his and Tyson's relationship. I kinda like the image of Kai toddling in the snow with large chibified eyes. Kawaii!

**Hiyami: **I can't write Sanzo/Goku for some odd reason. I have written Homura/Goku, but I have difficulty with Sanzo/Goku. It's sad 'cause I love that pairing so much! It's so sweet and beautiful and has so much potential. As for the doctor thing, plot devices my friend, plot devices.

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Simplicity is the sweetest, but I think from this chapter onwards, it gets more complicated.

**Shadowlightning: **Thank you. You can call me Timmy. That's what everyone does these days. Here's your update and I'll try and keep it consistent.

**FireieGurl: **Can't reveal anything now. Plot devices my friend.

**Loveisagiftuseitwisely: **Thank you. I will

**Yazzy: **Oh! I did Kai the druggie once! So did Angy. It's because we saw this film, 'Requiem for a Dream' which is about drugs. It's really powerful. Definitely a recommendation (Depending on how old you are)

**Kaay-chan: **Who are Jordan and Sam? And no, Tyson wasn't raped or anything drastic like that. I'm tired of making Tyson the weakling uke, so Kai is uke in this story.

Kai: WTF? I'm uke?

Tyson: Live with it, Kai dearest.

And you reviewed twice. (blinks) and about my muses. I gave them a long needed vacation. Trust me, I need it.

**AwakenDreams: **So, you do. Ty-ty? (snickers) I remember a reviewer saying the same thing. Ty-ty and Rei-puss

Tyson: Ty-ty?

Rei: Rei-puss?

**Yami FireKali: **I checked your fics. Boy, you have been productive lately. But I didn't have any real chance to review. Gomen Kali-chan! As for this, I really wasn't planning on continuing, but I wanted to jumpstart my Beyblade muse. Yes, drool over the extreme yaoi-ness of Saiyuki!

**Luvyagal: **I'm glad you think so. I thought I did some horrible things to Kai's character. Very, very horrible things. But I am proud of all my stories and I love them so much and my reviewers as well.

**Kittens have Claws: **Wonder away my dear reviewer. As I said before, plot devices are good.

**Minako Mikoto: **And more you shall have. Just remember, this thing ends at twelve chapters. Or not. Let's see. The future has yet to be written.

**Lady Kirei: **Thank you. That was so polite, but you don't need to bow. And don't push yourself to review each chapter. Unless you can, of course. I appreciate all efforts, so no worries.

**Yukiko-Angel: **Ask Glay. I believe she told me about what happened, but I can't remember…so sad though. It was a good site.

**Lady Psychic: **I see why they call you 'Lady Psychic'. You seem to guess my plotline so quickly! But there's always a twist and there's one showing up in the next chapter.

**Plushie Heartless: **Not for me (Sweatdrops) I have to study for my finals, so I can't write so much. As for logic, it's generally overrated. Common sense however, is something this world really needs sometimes.

**JadesRose: **Yes, thickening soup-like plot is good. Very good.


	8. April I

**April I  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-The messages of love that mortals write-  
****-Filled with intoxication of delight-  
****-Written in April and before the May time-  
****-Shredded and flown, playthings for the wind's playtime-  
**—"**The Genesis of Butterflies" by Victor Hugo**

**A/N: Stumbled across this poem during my French project (Victor Hugo is a French writer). A random recommendation of his would be the Hunchback of Notre Dame. No, I don't mean the saccharine Disney version, I mean the ACTUAL book. It's a beautiful, but extremely sad story. **

**On a happier note, the TyKa has progressed far as I see new prodigies showing up. Don't get yourself down and keep writing TyKa! Also, the TyKa in this little saga has grown too. Now, those two have a working relationship. Isn't that nice? But every relationship has its chinks and TyKa is no exception to that rule.**

**-XX- **

Rei was becoming a problem.

At first, Kai found it hard to admit that, but the Chinese blader was slowly grinding his nerves into the dust and the most annoying thing is that Rei knew _perfectly_ well what he was doing.

It started like this. Every moment they had training, Rei insisted he'd be paired with Tyson. At first, Kai dismissed as Rei's competitive streak. After all, they all wanted to be better than the Tyson, the current reigning champion of the Beyblade world. Even he wanted to blade Tyson to push his own limits, so he hadn't really considered Rei's requests and let him blade with Tyson.

But it was becoming such a repetitive thing that even Kenny complained that he wasn't listing out any new stats because Rei constantly bladed with Tyson. And Max, the most jovial and naïve of teammates has started sulking because no one seems to regard him as a prime beyblader anymore.

(A/N: Don't worry Maxie, you're still one of my favourites! –Huggles him-)

Their team was falling apart and it was Rei's fault. Kai really wanted to pound that neko-jin's head into the ground. Rei; ten feet under. That has a nice ring to it. Also, Rei was making it increasingly difficult for him and Tyson because every time Kai wanted some of his 'benefits', Rei would pop out from nowhere all daisy-like and drag Tyson away for another match.

And that, Kai thought to himself as he approached Rei's apartment, was the sole reason for him wanting to kill Rei. And he'll draw it out as painfully as possible.

"Who's ther—," Rei suddenly stopped short when he saw Kai and it seemed to him that Rei's face tightened and he looked sullen. Almost as if he didn't want to see Kai under any circumstances. Kai growled and tapped his feet against the floor, "Aren't you going to let me in?" He said smoothly, raising an eyebrow.

"Of course," Rei gritted out, "Come in," Kai restrained himself not to punch Rei's pretty face in with that tone of voice. What was Rei trying to be so antagonistic? It struck Kai suddenly that Rei has been acting like this since the Russian tournament.

"So," Rei said as Kai seated himself on Rei's coach which was oddly coloured. Mahogany, right? It seemed out of place in the room which was filled with soft light colours. The curtains were a soft pastel yellow and when they swayed with the breeze, the colour intermingled with the golden of the Sun's rays, "What does my esteemed captain want with me?"

Kai was not good with emotions and he knew it. But it didn't take a sensitive person to reveal the scathing undertone in Rei's question. Kai frowned at the complete lack of politeness (once again, completely unlike Rei. Maybe more things had changed than he thought they would) and reined himself in quietly.

"Why are you only blading with Tyson?" Kai asked him neutrally.

Rei's hands stiffened as they gripped his armchair. Rei pointedly looked out the window and Kai was again reminded of Tyson who would stare at the sky as if searching for the long lost secret of the answers.

"Answer the question Rei," Kai said flatly, "Now."

Rei turned away from the window slowly as if the power of the sky was holding his eyes in place. Unlike Tyson who could slide his gaze easily. The heavens held no power over him.

Kai shook his head mentally and tried to keep himself focused.

"Are you going to hurt him?"

Him? Again Kai found himself floundering in the question. Who was him? Kai blinked and stared at Rei in puzzlement. Rei let out a growl of frustration and his nails were pulling fluff from the armchair.

"You've done it before," Rei said suddenly getting up, "He doesn't need you to hurt him anymore. You didn't see him when—," Rei bit his lip as he had said too much and continued to look out the window, not wanting to look at Kai's face, "I won't see him cry again."

"Cry?" Suddenly Kai had an epiphany. _Rei was talking about Tyson! _Kai nearly hit himself in anger and at his own stupidity. Then Rei's words hit him hard enough to numb the feeling in his hands. Tyson cried.

"When?" Kai had never heard of this, nor had Tyson ever told him. There was that pang of guilt that always accompanied the feelings of the past. There was the hollow somber voice echoing in his head. He wondered how Tala and the others were managing with their new lives and whether they were able to discard their past as well. While Kai had Tyson to pull him out, did Tala and the others have anyone to help them out of their predicament and won't look at them as the Demolition Boys, the ruthless Russian bladers.

But to know that Tyson carried his own grief, grief that came with _Kai's _leaving.

It was more guilt than Kai wanted to bear and it was heavier than his past and his present put together.

"He cried," Rei continued blithely as he was talking about the weather. Kai would have thought that Rei felt indifferent about this if it hadn't been for the tight drawing of Rei's brows together and the visible pain within those blazoned eyes, "He cried for you. Do you have any idea what you did to us, what you did to him!" Now Rei's eyes burned more fiercely than any Sun and the venom in his voice stung Kai deeply, "And even after all that, he comes and lets you in like nothing ever happened! And even now, when you hold him in the palm of your hand, you never made one move to show him that you even cared in return! It's not fair, it's not fair that you let him hang like that because you're too scared to!"

Rei gasped as he struggled to regain his breath. Kai's face was white, whiter than any winter snow and his eyes were dark, deep crimson stained with black. When Rei caught his breath once more he noticed that Kai kept his head towards the ground. Rei sighed as he pushed his raven bangs off his face and said quietly, "I didn't mean it to come out that way."

"Don't deny it. You wouldn't have said it otherwise," Now it was Kai's voice to be bitter and Rei recoiled from the acidity of his sentence, "…I didn't know…I didn't know he cried…"

Rei's eyes widened in surprise as Kai continued, "Am I fooling myself? Do I really know him as well as I thought I did? Maybe…I shouldn't have…"

_there are so many things we can say. so many words we can express. forgiveness is the hardest. _

_do I know you, Tyson Kinomiya? do I really know you? _

"I'm sorry," Rei said quietly, "I…," Kai waved his hand sharply and cut him short. Rei fell silent, waiting for Kai to speak.

"I'm going," Kai said suddenly, standing up, "But I refuse to let you drag this team down because of your personal feelings. Is that clear Rei?" His eyes were bold, daring for Rei to contradict him.

Rei shook his head, "Understood,"

Kai gave him a curt nod and strode out of the apartment. Rei winced when Kai slammed the door and said quietly to himself, "I messed it up big time, didn't I Tyson?"

Kai fled from Rei's apartment as if he was scared he might catch a virus from the apartment block.

"_Do you have any idea what it did to us? What you did to him!" _

He did and sometimes he was reminded of that all too clearly in his dreams when his teammates would turn his back on him like he himself had done. And Tyson would be shaking his head sadly saying, "I believed in you Kai."

When he woke up, he didn't remember what felt worse; the fact that Tyson was sad because of him or the fact that he used past tense on the word, 'believed'. Those dreams seemed to drench his skin in a cold sweat he was unused to.

"_And even after all that, he comes and lets you in like nothing ever happened!"_

He wondered whether Rei was blaming Tyson for his foolhardiness or Kai for his presumptions that his teammates would actually take him back after all that. Perhaps it was a little of both. He kept running, running away, always running away. Nothing would ever change that, nothing would ever change that all he ever brought to others was grief and pain. There was always pain and how, how, how could Tyson ever believe that Kai could bring him happiness?

"_And even now, when you hold him in the palm of your hand, you never made one move to show him that you even cared in return!" _

I did care, Kai realized suddenly, I do care for Tyson. More than I ever thought I could. And he loves me. I know he loves me. Why else would he serve me with that whole-hearted devotion? Why else would he forgive my sins? Tyson's no messiah, just a boy in love with a fool. A stupid, stupid fool who could never see past the headlights. How could you have fallen for such an idiot Tyson?

Were those his words? …or Rei's?

"_It's not fair; it's not fair that you let him hang like that because you're too scared to!"_

Kai stopped trying to regain his escaped breath. He was few blocks away from Rei's house, the apartment complex not even within his view anymore. The street in which he was on was crowded and he felt the press of people around him. The voices seemed to twitter around him like birds, except no so melodious and Kai felt the urge to sink into the pavement and hope the world swallows him whole.

_is that all I bring Tyson?_

…_grief. pain. sorrow. tears._

_i made you cry, didn't I?_

A slight hacking sob left his throat and Kai felt disgusted with himself. The way he was lowering himself, for his _rival_. Tyson's face came swimming into his view and he felt his lips twist into a cruel smirk. Was it worth it, Tyson?

He began to walk down to Tyson's house. His head felt clear and his heart heavy as if it was filled with lead. Kai ignored the murmuring in his head and there was a voice that said, 'This is a bad idea'.

Tyson was in the back, sweeping the last of the leaves into a corner. His beyblade was poking out of his pocket and Kai realized that Tyson looked out of place sweeping the back yard with a broom. His place is by the stadium, Kai noted with some pleasure, not here in some dojo. Yet, here Tyson still was, sweeping the leaves in the back yard, tending the dojo.

Kai felt like he was breaking. As if he was a puzzle that was just completed and then the pieces were separated once more.

_i just wanted…someone to save me…to pull me out…._

…_is that too much to ask?_

"Kai?" Tyson dropped his broom and immediately came up to him. He put his hands on Kai's face, cold hands, when did Tyson's hands turn so cold? Like chips of ice from forgotten glaciers up north. Tyson's eyes held a faint trace of awe as his hand came back wet.

"…You're crying," Tyson's voice was choked. Strange, it sounded like Kai's voice, cracked and broken. Just too many puzzle pieces to put together, "…how?"

Kai didn't answer. He put his hand over Tyson's cold hand on his cheek and pressed it tightly. Unable to say the words, unable to show what Tyson needed, unable to do anything. Bound by shackles that have long ago been removed, yet he feels the weight of them on his wrists.

More tears slide from his eyes as Kai clutched Tyson tightly, the saline moving down to stain his neck. Tyson said nothing, letting Kai clench him and hold him like he was the only star in the universe. Slowly they sank down to the ground. And not a word was spoken except for Kai's muted sobs and Tyson's quiet acceptance.

XX-

Rei bit his lip as he watched people walk in and out of the apartment complex. He promised himself that he wouldn't break. He knew what was going to happen. He was a rational soul. He knew the consequences, understood the end better than he thought he would. He knew that he never had a chance.

Death, Rei thought, death of an idea, of a dream I've been harboring ever since I've joined this team. Simply because…

"_Why?" Rei asked, "Why did you come all this way for me?"_

"_Don't ask stupid questions," Tyson said, "Why _wouldn't_ I come all this way to get you?"_

Just like Kai, Rei thought smiling, though the smile seemed taunt and fake, Tyson pulled me out of my own perpetual nightmare. But I had others to look for me, to look out for me. Kai has no one else but Tyson.

_And I…wanted no one but Tyson. _

Rei drew the curtains to his window as he sank to the floor and cried for all his worth.

_And even now….I couldn't even help him in return. _

_Not even once…_

**-XX-**

**A/N: I know, it's a sort of evil cliffhanger, one of my many favourite plot devices which reviewers don't like. Only five more chapters left! Demo, I need to work on my other stuff after that. But, I guarantee that I'll probably come back with another story like this one. This has been one of my most popular stories to date. **

**-Pain to ourselves-**

**-Is hard to bear-**

**-But pain to others is worse-**

—**Author's Observations**

**Yazzy: **Good work on your story (and exam). Boris does seem perverted ne?

**xXx Angel VxXx: **Tyka goodness all around. Isn't it great?

**Kaay-chan: **It isn't you. Gosh, you guys are geniuses? How do you guess the plot so easily?

**Queen Phoenix: **It is a rather boring title…but I guess the TyKa remedied that. Thank you for reviewing my Harry Potter one-shot!

**Hiyami: **Well, the uke-seme thing could use a twist. Tyson taking control of the relationship and Kai being less emotionally secure. It makes sense actually considering that Kai flips out over emotional things more than Tyson. I really wish I could write Sanzo/Goku…(sighs) I really do.

**Luvyagal: **Okay…want me to recommend someone for psychiatric help? I didn't realize this story was that addicting…it makes me feel rather proud of myself…

**Kerichi: **Wow, you're another genius! Don't worry, someone told me once common sense is overrated, so if I ever find the source, I'll be sure to trash it. Or give you some at least. Yes, there is the Rei factor, but that makes things more enjoyable, ne?

**1nfid3lity: **I'm glad it seemed powerful to you. It means I am improving.

**FireieGurl: **Here's your update. Not too late I hope.

**Yukiko-Angel: **Another genius in our midst!

**Yami FireKali: **Kali-chan! You reviewed again. I must have pleased the Merciful Goddess big time! Oh, and I have a manga picture of Sanzo's butt when he was in the shower! God, I nearly fainted! Thank you Sanzo-sama

Sanzo: Die. Just die.

For that butt Sanzo-sama, I'm ready and willing.

**Minako Mikoto: **Kai likes exerting his superiority over everyone. Ne, Kai?

**JadesRose: **Whoops. (sighs) Where's spell-check when you need it?

**Hanishi: **More you shall have!

**Lady Kirei: **No need to bow. After all, commoners need to bow for ladies, right? But that was a very sweet review and I am deeply touched. So, my hats off to you for that high esteem you seem to hold of me and I shall not be one to disappoint. (bows)


	9. April II

**April II  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-"Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning or frost from fire"-  
**—**Catherine Earnshaw from "Wuthering Heights"**

**A/N: Yes, I am blatantly displaying my intelligence by showing off these literary quotes. Marvel at me! Still hopelessly Saiyuki-hooked. Hope I rectify that situation when I buy some of X. That show is almost worse than Saiyuki when it comes to the shounen-ai hints. **

**On a happier note, this is the next chapter that solves the problem with Tyson/Kai/Rei (or is it Kai/Tyson/Rei?), but we have many more mysteries to go.**

**The first chapter in two parts. I knew this story wouldn't finish at twelve…**

**-XX-**

_Warm. _He wanted to be warm. It felt nice. In Russia, the cold wind would rattle the shutters and should some cold wind enter in the night, it stole your warmth away much like a murderer would steal life. He couldn't ever remember being warm in Russia, despite how many bundles of clothes he wore. He remembered how he hated the cold and cursed the snow when it fell. Now, he didn't bother anymore, but sometimes the resentment lingers like over-used medicine.

Kai stirred slightly and opened his eyes. Immediately, the bright light hit him square in the eyes and he squinted. Waiting until his pupils could adjust to the glare; he turned and realized that he was in a room. Blearily, he got up and surveyed his surroundings. Nothing looked the least bit familiar and Kai wondered if he had gotten dumped onto some alternate universe.

"Sleeping Beauty's up," Tyson said jovially, sliding the door open. He put a tray onto the desk beside the bed, while Kai blinked at him quizzically. On the tray was a bowl of tomato soup and a glass of water. Kai was suddenly aware of how dry and parched his throat felt and grabbed the glass and swallowed the water with one gulp. Tyson smiled as he watched Kai.

Kai set the glass down and clicked his tongue experimentally.

"What happened?" Kai winced when he heard the scratchiness of his voice.

Tyson was quiet as he fiddled with the end of his sleeves, "You passed out," He said quietly, "So I brought you here," Tyson looked away, unable to meet Kai's eyes as he admitted, "I-I was really worried."

Kai mentally cursed himself for giving into his weakness like that. Tyson reached out to grab his hand, Kai suddenly pulled it away. Tyson blinked and tried not to let the hurt show.

"…I can't do this," Kai whispered, "I can't do this to you anymore,"

Now Tyson was thoroughly confused and he showed it, "What?"

"I can't keep hurting you like this," Kai said softly, hoping the wind would carry away his words to sink them in the ocean, "I don't think I can handle it anymore."

Tyson's eyes glimmered with understanding, but there was something else building up in those stormy eyes and Kai recognized it despite the fact he didn't see it often.

Anger. Pure unadulterated anger. Tyson was _angry _at him.

"What makes you think you can say that? What makes you think I am being hurt?" Tyson hissed, his eyes flashing, "What makes you think that you're the only one who can decide whether this ends or not?"

Kai's hands gripped the bed-sheets tightly, his knuckles white.

"I—," But he was caught off once again by Tyson whose eyes flared out like a dragon's flame and he noticed that Tyson's hands were clenched into tight fists.

"You need to understand this, Kai," Tyson said slowly, "That I get a say too, and my opinion over this matters as much as yours does."

Silence reigned over them with a dark smile and a flourish. The Silence vanished as Kai said, his throat seizing up, "I won't make you cry again."

Tyson blinked, his anger dissipating as quickly as it had appeared, "Me crying?" His voice did nothing to disguise his emotions. Kai wondered idly if Tyson ever felt the need to hide himself from the world, to protect himself? Did Tyson have any hidden wounds at all?

"Rei told me," Kai couldn't stop himself from blurting it out and clamped his mouth shut before he said any more. Tyson's face darkened and for the first time, Kai felt mildly afraid of Tyson.

"Rei told you," Tyson said flatly, "I see," Another silence had dropped over them and Kai felt unusually tense as if awaiting the outcome of the storm. Tyson's storm, he thought ironically.

"Kai," At the mention of his name, Kai jerked his head at Tyson and was momentarily blinded by his Tyson's smile. Tyson, who had no harsh quality in his smiles, no corners to run to. Something so open that it terrified Kai.

"Give me your hand," Tyson said. When there was no movement, Tyson spoke again, "Please." Slowly Kai extended his hand and Tyson held it. Tyson let his eyes flutter slightly and smiled with remembrance shining through his eyes, "Do you remember this?"

"The ice," Kai mumbled avoiding looking at Tyson.

"When I took your hand, I knew that I was binding myself to you. And I knew I was devoting my life to the pain that will eventually come," Kai jerked and nearly pulled his hand away, but Tyson kept it in a firm grip. Kai felt like running away, but he bit his tongue and stayed in place, "But I also know this. Pain is something we give each other and we can take it away. And you held my hand as well," Tyson's eyes were smiling, painfully so. Kai felt himself break inside once more, "So, take away my pain Kai."

Kai tightened his hand and Tyson simply smiled.

There was nothing left to be said.

They sat there, mulling over each other's words and Tyson got up suddenly. Kai blinked quizzically. Tyson noticed and his face was drawn into a frown.

"I'm going to see Rei," And Kai could still see remnants of Tyson's anger dwelling in his face, "Stay here."

Kai felt inexplicably stronger now, "I'll come too."

"You don't need to."

"Doesn't matter," Kai said pushing the white sheets aside and stepping onto the floor. He winced as the cold seeped into his feet, "I'm still coming."

Tyson nodded and smiled. Kai wondered how he could smile so easily all the time. Were there no troubles in that mind to weigh down Tyson? Truly enigmatic, Kai mused.

They walked down towards Rei's apartment and it was along the way that Kai realized that Tyson was holding his hand. And gripping it rather tightly. He glanced at Tyson and noticed how unusually pale Tyson looked and how grim and set his mouth was. He squeezed Tyson's hand and Tyson started. Looking at Kai, he noticed once again that the anger seemed to dim when Tyson looked at him.

Did he really have that much control over Tyson's life? Kai felt a surge of power rush through his veins and he felt himself tremble. He knew the answer to his own question.

Rei's apartment was fairly close by and they had reached there in no time. Tyson hesitated slightly and then turned to face Kai, "I want to talk to him alone."

Kai fidgeted, "Are you sure?" He said softly.

Tyson nodded and went inside the elevator. Kai stood there wistfully and sat down in a bench near by, his eyes darting towards the buttons on the elevator (A/N: Y'know, the ones that tell you what floor the elevator is on?). With a final sigh, he leaned back and closed his eyes.

XX-

"Explain this to me, Rei," Tyson may be known as the warm lovable blader, but right now his eyes were sharper than daggers of ice and nothing in his manner seemed to suggest he was feeling warm and lovable today.

"He told you," Rei couldn't remove the edge of bitterness in his voice.

"Damn right he told me," Tyson's eyes were narrowed and almost glowing with unholy power, "And even if he hadn't told me, I would have figured it out eventually. Who else would it be? Max? Kenny? Those two wouldn't even hurt a fly. But I know you Rei," And the honesty was even sharper, "I know you."

Rei sucked in his retort and looked away, his amber eyes glinting slightly, "I was only looking out for you," He said, trying to seek his lifeline.

"That kind of help I could do without," Tyson said, standing next to him, "Do you know how long I've waited for him? Do you Rei?"

"I do," Rei murmured, "But I don't want to see you cry again."

"You and Kai are the same," Tyson smiled gently, "Both of you'll don't want me to cry. Am I that endearing when I am teary-eyed?"

"Very," Rei smiled as well, recalling how distraught he had been when he saw Tyson leaning by the balcony, his choked sobs filling the air and mingling with the screaming wind. It was something that gave Rei grief, to see someone so strong crumble so easily. Kai was Tyson's foundation, his earth. Tyson was the sky, always reaching further and further, the infinity universe open to him.

They were bound to each other, Rei thought sadly, more than I was.

"He won't hurt me Rei," Tyson's eyes looked so old that they belonged on some old gemstone in an aging museum, "I'll probably get there first."

"You haven't told him," It was a statement, but there was grey horror behind Rei's eyes, "Tyson, how could you—,"

"I don't want him to fret and moan over something that is beyond his control," Tyson said tightlipped, "Carpe Diem my friend."

"That's useless," Rei said snarling, "I don't know why you say that."

"If I can't believe in that," Tyson's eyes were like mist on the moors, "What do I believe?"

XX-

Kai was patient, very patient, despite the fact it's not his nature to act like that. But as he kept glancing at the elevator status, he realized that this kind of conflict would take a lot longer than he anticipated.

He was well rewarded for his patience as the lift door opened and Tyson stepped out, not looking no worse for wear. Kai left out a sigh of relief he didn't know he was holding inside.

"Are you okay?" Kai asked, "What took you so long?"

When Tyson raised his head, Kai was struck by the sadness brimming behind those eyes. It was overwhelming how that sorrow swept against him. Tyson trembled and he hugged Kai. Kai stared at him, "Tyson?"

"Just. Stay like this. For now. Please," Tyson said softly, clutching Kai like a lifeline on the sea. Tyson buried his head into Kai's chest, sniffling, "Please?"

Without thinking, Kai wrapped his hands around Tyson and rocked him gently. Tyson bit hislip as he cried into Kai's shoulder and Kai was the one who said nothing this time.

_­_**-XX-**

**A/N: I didn't like this chapter….I don't know why, I just didn't. Maybe because this thing dragged on for too long. But there was some foreshadowing in this chapter. **

**Four more chapters to go…but did you guys like this part? I feel sorry for Rei. Tyson did do a lot for him as well. **

**-You look the other way-  
****-Why can't you see me?-  
****-I'm right here-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**Yukiko-Angel: **Of course, TyKa rules over all. But I like messing with other pairings. Plus, I've been reading some very good TyRa on Livejournal. Beautiful stuff, almost makes me cry…

**Luvyagal: **He doesn't get in the way, he's just concerned for Tyson. I don't blame him really. I would not like Kai because of what he did to Tyson.

**Queen Phoenix: **I wanted more team involvement. If Kai and Tyson get together, it would also change things for the team, so I wanted to show that.

**Yami FireKali: **It was a very nice shot. And what a nice butt it was…(drools as well)

**xXxAngel xVxXx: **Not, a multi one-shot. Still works as well though…

**Yazzy: **That's a good theory, one that works! I'll put it up with the eternal principles of TyKa.

**Dark-She-Deivl: **Thank you. Here's your update.

**Kaay-chan: **I'll do that. I hope you like this chapter better.

**Minako Mikoto: **I love cliffies! Cliffies are an author's best friend! Really!

**Rose in the Shadows: **Checking everyday? This story is still on work on progress, so no need to check everyday. You could put on a story alert though.

**Lay Kirei: **Woah, you're crying. (gives you a kerchief) Now I'm really proud of myself.

**JadesRose: **I know. But it still bugs me all the same. Maybe I should get a beta.

**Plushie Heartless: **Are you talking about your previous review for 'Walk on Fire'? I thought it was you. You have a sister on Sweet!

**Mikin Ishida: **Here's your update. Oh, and good work for 'Frozen Love'. You wrote that right? It's very good.


	10. May

**May  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-Love follows no rules except the ones it sets for itself-  
**—**Tyson Kinomiya in "O-machi shite imasu"**

**A/N: That was one quote from that story I actually thought was quite good. And to think that story came about because of my first flame. It wasn't even a good flame for that matter. **

**-XX-**

Time is precious, just a precious as a budding relationship is. Time grows slowly and becomes valuable for those who see it for it is; an opportunity. Time is the rough sensation of sand running past your clenched fist into the ground. Time is a friend and an enemy. More than anything, Time is a thief at night who steals to put bread on his table.

Kai understood the value of time, the precocious and intangible element that few have grasped completely with its complexity. He assumed it was because of his past in the Abbey; that dogged tenacity to survive each day. So, when Kai was given a chance to learn from his mistakes, he tends not to repeat them.

But, as time moved onwards like it always does, Kai had been happy.

As happy as a person with his personality would be.

They were in the backyard of Tyson's dojo. Max was loafing around, Kenny was typing something on Dizzy, Rei was lying on his back staring at the sky in a dazed manner and Tyson was sweeping away the sakura petals that had covered the backyard. Tyson huffed and threw down his broom, "This is ridiculous…Dragoon!" He launched his beyblade, ignoring the frightened yelps from Rei and Max. His grin was wide and bursting at the seams, as Dragoon swept away the petals and sent them in a corner. Tyson recalled Dragoon and smiled with satisfaction, "That's a lot better."

Max poked Tyson, "Ever heard the expression, 'Exercise is good for you?'" Max said blandly.

Tyson blinked, "It's an expression?"

Kenny snickered as Max rolled his eyes, "You're wasting your time there Max. Tyson is dense when it comes to literary quotes,"

"Am not!" came the indignant shout.

As for Kai, he was leaning at the back of sakura tree watching the others simply lay back and relax. The beyblade season was picking up speed with the vacation beginning, but nobody was in the mood to train today and this time Kai didn't feel like pushing them (simply because he felt the same way).

Out hopes and dreams lay on the same path, Kai thought observing his teammates silently, we all are trying to become better…and we're doing it together…

The fact that he can admit that proves he has come a long way. He has managed to tenaciously shed the bonds of the past and look at the new pathway in front of him.

The future never quite looked so beautiful before.

And there were his teammates. Each one he gave a measure of respect (which, he grudgingly admitted, they deserved) and each one had their own fears to overcome. Rei still bore the scars from Bryan's battle and Max and Kenny nearly lost what they had just regained. And Tyson was alone on the ice, bemoaning his own weakness when the trust of his own strength, the test that all must face, was to be shown.

As for himself…drifting aimlessly on the ice, wondering whether he made the right choice. Would he ever find out whether he made the right choice? Did he make the right choice? He had a feeling he would never truly know, never truly understand the consequences of making choices like that.

Maybe he should recall another literary quote: Ignorance is bliss

_Half a year…_Kai remembered how everything spun into being with that fateful September with Tyson. Then, everything was thrown into the air and Kai found himself stumbling again.

My foothold, Kai smiled fondly as he watched Tyson tackle Max into the ground and tickle his senseless. Kenny was shaking his head sadly while Rei was laughing, holding his head in place as he pointed at Max. Max was shrieking in pleasure and Tyson's eyes were bright, bright for eyes that held so dark a colour. Like semi-clear pools under canopy forest where little light dares to fall. Like the tremble of leaves over the water…

His eyes were mystical, Kai stated finally watching Max tumble and Tyson giving him a hand to stand up straight, eyes that watch you silently in the dark, always watching.

Always watching me, Kai realized, always taking care of me, always checking on me. I would have fallen with neglect without Tyson here. And he would have lost himself and his purpose a long time ago if I hadn't reminded him.

We need each other, Kai concluded, getting up quietly and brushing the dirt from his pants.

Tyson was apologizing to Max and Max was looking rather sheepish. Tyson felt his shoulder being tapped and turned around, his eyes bright, brighter than they were with Max.

"Ah! Kai, we were just—," Lips descended on his open mouth and all Tyson could do was blink in shock while Rei and Max catcalled and Kenny's jaw was quite comfortable with the ground. Tyson melted into him and they faded into the background.

_We need each other, _Kai remembered thinking to himself, _and I won't lose something precious to me a second time. _

_Not again. _

**-XX-**

**A/N: A short chapter, just to sum up that this relationship has somewhat come full circle and that's what I wanted this chapter to prove. No conflicts from Rei, no random admirers and stalkers, no fights, no internal problems…life seems peachy, right? Right?**

**-The truth isn't simple-  
****-Nor is it pure-  
****-Just be sure-  
****-Of your purpose-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**Omnimaevolent: **Umm...thanks. Do you want me to explain it for you?

**Luvyagal: **Rei and Tyson remain...untold. Plot devices my friend! But I should have explained 'Carpe Diem' or I shoudl have recommended Leila's fics to you. 'Carpe Diem' means 'Seize the Day'. Little Leila, a good friend of mine wrote a fic on it. You should read it if you want to learn more.

**Kai's the Best: **Definitely. And yet, the Kai/Rei flows. (sighs)

**Yazzy: **I saw it. It was really good! But I never knew this story could be described as squishy. That's new.

**Yami FireKali: **Dryad's right y'know. Your previous spy story had me running in circles. Literally. But still good with all the TyKaness, so I won't complain Kali-chan. PS: I wrote a Sanzo/Goku one-shot. Absolute nonsense, but my first Sanzo/Goku!

**XZanayu: **Man, you people are pushy. I'm not revealing anything yet, so you'll have to wait.

**Mikin Ishida: **I'm continuing it, so stop crying (hands you a hanky) I'll finish, don't worry.

**Dead Cat: **I will, I will. I don't blame you for missing this. I have so many stories posted up, you might get lost in them. But what about your stories honey? I'm still waiting for Phantom to get updated.

**ShadowedDarkness: **You cried? Wow...I seem to be doing that a lot lately.

**JadesRose: **Thanks for the advice. I'll try and keep that in mind when I'm uploading.

**Plushie Heartless: **Um, no guarantees (winces as Plushie Heartless starts bawling) Umm, please stop. Your sister writes as well? Sounds like another great sister due (hint)Arashi and Jaici(hint)

**Kitten Have Claws: **No, not the Smurf Army! They're so scary. (shudders) and so very blue. As for Tyson being a strong person... You can be strong outside, but harbor your weaknesses inside. Sound familiar? Kai used to do that.

**Yukiko-Angel: **I wrote a Robert/Johnny once for livejournal. TyRa, there's one really good TyRa writer called jou-kaiba-mokie (I think I spelt it right). I recommend that for TyRa and Weeping Angel for TyTa.

**Kaay-chan: **It isn't so (sweatdrops) You're a dramatic one, aren't you? But I'm confirming that for you.

**Hanishi: **More you shall have!

**xXxAngel xVxXx: **Here's your update. Enjoy!

**I'mAGirlXD: **Well, the genre is angst. But this is a happier chapter, so don't feel so sad.

**Shinobi KazeKage: **I wanted to write a fic with Kai-focus. Tyson focus is there as well, but mainly Kai. A new angle and as I called it in the beginning, an experiment.


	11. June

**June  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-Walk…in the rain-  
****-In the rain…in the rain-  
****-I'll walk in the rain…in the rain-  
****-Is it right…or is it wrong?-  
****-Or is it here I belong?-  
**—"**Rain" by Steve Conte, "Cowboy Bebop"**

**A/N: A nice song, though I prefer the demo version…this story has about…three chapters to conclude itself? Now the final plot element should be revealed. **

**Still hopelessly Saiyuki-hooked with Get Backers as well! I'm doomed…**

**-XX-**

It was so goddamn noisy!

Kai opened his curtains to see a grey sky stretched out as far as the eye can see. Metallic clouds covered every inch of a normally blue sky. It looked like a thousand tiny needles were falling from the endless sky, swallowing up the air around.

"Like cats and dogs," Kai grumbled as he pulled the curtains close and looked away. He found himself staring at his room in contemplation. His whole past ever since the accident felt like a blur, a stain of his memory. He couldn't quite wipe it clean, so he ignores it. Everyone ignores their past, no matter how close it is to you. It is a normal human reaction unfortunately to most.

Except some people disregard the bonds of the past and look forward. People like Tyson, Kai grumbled as he sat down on his bed; that make him look like a coward. But then, in Tyson's presence, who didn't look like a coward? Who could stand and say, "I'm proud of the way I live," in the overwhelming strength of Tyson's brutal honesty.

As the rain falls, the truth falls just as hardly, pounding the ground with its pinpricks. Thunderous in its joint harmony; joyous in its beaten glory. The rain is brutal, is kind, is gentle and is inexplicably harsh in its power.

Kai remembered vaguely that his parents would take him out in the rain. Voltaire was not able to tear every fragment of Kai's past from his delusional mind. But what fragments lingered, they lie in a language Kai has forgotten how to read.

_the rain was shrieking in his eyes and he huddled deeper in his raincoat. his mother looked amused by his expression of fear . she was shielded by a large blue umbrella and she was smiling. she liked smiling and she nudged him forward, "Now Kai, don't you want to play in the rain?"_

_he shook his head vigorously and looked at her meekly. _

"_It isn't that scary Kai," his mother dropped the umbrella and he saw engulfed by silver and blue droplets of water. he cried out in horror, but saw that his mother was smiling. she lifted her hands as if in prayer to the sky. she was laughing and it mingled with the harsh bellow of thunder, "Come on Kai!"_

_so, so very slowly Kai took his hands from his pockets and watched in amazement how the rain seemed to lick his hand like a dog would. he began to smile and his mother laughed, her eyes twinkling, "Isn't it beautiful? Ne, Kai?" _

Kai's eyes snapped open and he gasped involuntarily. He clutched his shirt and tightened his hold on Dranzer which was in his pocket. He blinked and on a whim, got up and opened the curtains once more. His eyes dulled slightly at the rain continuing to growl and break on the ground.

"_Isn't it beautiful? Ne, Kai?"_

Kai didn't remember replying or perhaps Voltaire had that memory stolen from him. Whether it was simply a reminder of happier or whether he needed to remember, that memory were one of the last ones he ever had of his parents. The other one…was of their death. It was raining that day as well.

"_Don't you want to play in the rain?"_

No, Kai found himself answering to the unbidden voice of his mother, never again will I play in the rain. If I did, I would remember how the tires skidded, how they squealed and shuddered, how the glass shattered, how the rain poured in like needles into my skin.

I would remember and remind myself of my grief in September, but not now, he thought, not yet.

There was a knock on the door and Kai jumped. Regaining his senses, he stared at the door in disbelief and frowned.

"Who would come out in this weather?" He muttered in disbelief as he pulled on his robe and wore his slippers. He opened the door slightly and then opened it fully to see a partially soaked Tyson holding out two green umbrellas and smiling as if it was shining brightly outside and he had just won a world championship for the fifteenth time.

Kai ogled at the site and blinked at Tyson several times, opening and closing his mouth in disbelief. Tyson continued to grin (and also, Kai noticed, ignored his gaping disbelief).

"Ummm…Tyson, what are you doing here?" Kai finally asked once he had gotten his bearings.

"To take you out to play in the rain!" Tyson chimed as if he was performing his Good Kai Samaritan deed for the month. For those lost, a Good Kai Samaritan deed was helping Kai or torturing Kai. Max made it up once when Kenny wondered if Kai was emotionally retarded. Max received double training and Kenny couldn't find Dizzi for a week. She was in Kai's closet.

"_Don't you want to play in the rain?" _

Kai snapped and he resisted the urge to throw back a sarcastic reply.

"I don't like the rain," He said in a monotone and looked the other way. He didn't want to face up to Tyson's disappointment. But he couldn't go out, not there, not when...

"Are you scared?"

Kai jolted out of his reverie and stared at Tyson with disbelieving eyes. Tyson had his head bent down so his bangs could shadow his eyes and his fists were clenched tightly. He closed his eyes and looked away, "I'm not scared of anything. You know that Tyson."

"That I do," And it was Tyson who looked up and met his gaze with an even logical stare. A few years back, Kai would have dismissed Tyson ever being the least bit smart, but then opportunity rose to the challenge and Kai had to retract that statement. Because...because, he had been the foolish one.

"Won't you come out Kai?" And it was Tyson smiling as if nothing was wrong with the world; as if Kai's very words had flown over his head. Like little pigeons, Kai felt like adding, "Don't you trust me?"

Kai froze and stared at Tyson. Tyson's eyes seemed unreadable and for once, Kai wanted to pull out a dictionary and see what goes on behind the blader's head. Kai felt his whole body still and there was no sound but the pounding of the rain in his ears, the deafening torrent that stole breath away. Kai smirked and took the umbrella from Tyson's hand. He didn't see Tyson's grin, but he knew it was there nevertheless.

This had to be one of the heaviest downpours he had ever seen. Even the trees have bent over the oppressive force of the rain. On a whim, Kai held out his hand and immediately drew it back and glanced wearily at Tyson. Tyson didn't seem to notice as he jumped in the puddles and laughed. The laughter seemed to mingle with the symphony of the rain and it didn't sound quite as bad as Kai had thought.

"Kai! Come in the rain!"

Kai shuddered visibly and decided to answer, "You got me out, but you have to do more than that to get me in this," And nothing could disguise his loathing for the rain, "weather."

"Oh really?" And before Kai could comprehend what was going on, Tyson had hopped over towards him and kissed him fully on the lips.

Wet. Tyson's lips were moist and his damp cheeks tingled when they touched Kai's face. Tyson was flushed (from playing in those puddles of mud, Kai noted unhappily) and his eyes seemed to glisten with an unknown shine. It was like all those deadly needles falling from the sky were reflected in his eyes, like glittering shards from a mirror.

At times like this, Kai always noticed how Tyson glowed. As if God poured too much life into one person. Or put too little restraint.

When they pulled away, they were both a little out of breath. Tyson's chest heaved, but he was smiling. It was a smile Kai hadn't seen in a long time. It was the wide grin that always threatens to tear your face, but on Tyson, it was right. It fits, Kai thought, like a glove.

Tyson blushed slightly as he tugged Kai's sleeve, "Aren't you going to go out in the rain Kai?"

"I'll catch a cold," Kai stated and watched as Tyson pouted.

_something is wrong here…_

"Don't make me force you," Tyson said childishly, putting his hands on his hips like a disgruntled housewife. Kai nearly choked as an image of Tyson in an apron took over his mental vision. Tyson stared curiously as Kai tried to focus. Then it struck him.

_tyson was acting like…tyson…_

Tyson smiled (one of those small soft smiles that make Kai all weak inside, but also make him wonder where that smile came from) and dropped his umbrella. Kai watched enraptured by how Tyson's body was enveloped by the rain. How the silver droplets trickled down his neck and grazed his Adam's apple. How his hair clung to his neck and made him look thinner and gaunt-looking.

It took a minute for Kai to realize Tyson actually did look thinner. Tyson raised his hand slightly and stared at it in contemplation. Kai tried to recall when Tyson changed. When did he become so…

…_what happened to him? Is he lost?_

Tyson smiled slightly and turned to look at Kai. Kai couldn't tear his eyes away from the site. Tyson was soaked to the bone and he was smiling and Kai couldn't believe anything was quite as beautiful as Tyson in that moment.

"Come Kai. Come with me."

And Kai's umbrella dropped to the ground and the less was lost over the downpour that engulfed the two melded bodies.

XX-

It was like he woke up from a very good sleep, Kai decided. He trudged up his stairs, sneezing slightly and muttering to himself, "I knew I'd get a cold."

But it was worth it, Kai thought, and a smirk was playing on his lips. It was refreshing and it was fulfilling. It felt like freedom, and Kai felt his wings had just brushed against the tip of the sky.

_Hands briefly touch before flying all over…_

Kai paused on his way to his condo as he fiddled in his drenched jeans for the keys. Hearing them jingle, Kai continued his ascent to his floor. But as he reached his door to his flat, he paused, his auburn eyes narrowing dangerously.

"What are you doing here…Rei?"

Rei looked at him impassively. His eyes were cold, not like the horrendous rain that smothered him and Tyson, "We need to talk."

**-XX-**

**A/N: Ahem. **

…

**Sorry for the extremely long delay, but I had to shift laptops and I didn't have Microsoft Word. I went through traumatic withdrawal symptoms. And I can't look at Goku without wanting to cry. His life is so very sad. **

**I feel the Saiyuki-crazed urge. Hopefully, the next update won't take too long. **

**-Let the rain come-  
****-And wash away those sins-  
****-That you were born with-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**luvyagal: **Yes, I did wonder whether I should have gone into depth about Rei's reaction, but I decided to leave it alone.

**Yukiko-Angel: **No, it's not the ending. All the months of the year and then…

**JadesRose: **I'm writing, don't worry. But yes, there is a deeper plot that I've integrated into this little experiment of mine. A simple plot it is. Oh, by the way, the ending is not yet set.

**xXxAngel xVxXx: **I thought so too. I wanted some happy moments in this story…

**Yami FireKali: **I'm sure you'll pull through. I'm still keeping tabs on Endure! Catch you online!

**Omnimalevonlent: **I hope I spelled your name correctly…(sweatdrops) As for Kai being mushy, I always believed Kai had a feminist side he never showed. Don't you think so?

**Mikin Ishida: **I hope I can still keep Kai in character. He's a hard character to maintain. To make him gruff and cold and yet warm enough on the inside is tough!

**Tsubasa no Kisei: **Kai is slowly coming in terms with his relationship with Tyson. Isn't it great? Now, if he only did that in the show…

**Shinobi KazeKage: **That was very insightful and I think that was the main idea I've tried to keep with this fic. The idea that time is precious, but the change that comes along with the passing of time is even more valuable.

**Serena429: **So that's why you didn't review. I was wondering about that, since you always reviewed on time.

**Dark-She-Deivl: **Speechless? Truly? I'm touched.

**XZanayu: **Thank you. I hope you would like this one as well.

**Yazzy: **Is that right? I'll keep that in mind. Never though of that one before.

**Dead Cat: **If you're trying, I won't complain. Just update soon so I can find out what happens to Kai and Tyson and Tala in "Phantom"!

**Plushie Heartless: **Arashi and Jaici are good friends of mine here on If you think my stories are angsty, then read theirs. Trust me, their stories make you want to weep.

**Hiyami: **To be truthful, I haven't decided yet. I'm not sure what the ending will be. Nothing is quite fixed. After all, the future has yet to be written.

**Lady Kirei: **I think I will. This story was a big success, much to my shock. I might write more stories like these.


	12. July

**July  
****By Timberwolf220 **

**-God I feel like hell tonight-  
****-With tears of rage I cannot hide-  
****-I'd be the last to tell you to understand-  
****-Are you strong enough to be my man?-  
****-Lie to me-  
****-I promise, I'll believe-  
****-Lie to me-  
****-But please don't leave-  
**—"**Are you strong enough?" by Sheryl Crow**

**A/N: Now I know I've gotten a lot of theories about Tyson's "odd behavior" and I'm surprised (and a little ashamed of myself) about how accurate some of your guesses were. But remember the ending is still in my hands and I haven't quite decided how it should. Perhaps I'll leave it in your hands instead. **

**As to why I'm taking off directly after June (instead of having a June II), just imagine that the day Tyson took him out was the last day of June, k? It's hard to have a plot and keep the time quota correct. **

**-XX-**

Kai could still hear the rain drumming in his ears when he closed the door. Rei was already sitting in one of the chairs, his long raven hair dripping slightly on the floor. Kai tried to summon up his hate towards Rei, but his mind was too filled with the exuberance from before. He sighed and went to his bathroom. Snagging two towels, he returned to the living room and passed on to Rei. Rei accepted it with unreadable eyes and Kai began to dry his hair.

"Out in the rain?" Rei queried, casting a dark look at the rain. Cats never did quite take to the water, Kai thought smirking. He sat down on the chair opposite Reis' and began to stare outside the window. In his mind's eye, he remembered dropping Tyson off at his house and the warmth of their lips pressed together lingered in the vicinity of his mind. Shaking his head, Kai looked at Rei. Rei's hands were pressed together (folded together actually, Kai noted, as if in prayer) and Rei deliberately avoided his eyes. Kai sighed and rubbed his forehead in exasperation. Finally, he spoke, "Do you want something to drink?"

Rei looked startled and then his manner turn guarded once more. Kai wanted to grind his teeth into powder in frustration. Growling, he pushed his chair back and proceeded into his kitchen. He would have gone further if Rei's voice hadn't stopped him, "Kai, this is important."

Kai scowled and slammed the kitchen door as he went back to his seat.

"Talk," And Kai stared at Rei, trying to read the uncertainty that was holding the other blader back.

Out of all of the BladeBreakers, Rei was the one who could see through all facades with a disturbing clarity. While Tyson had been the emblem of hope for them, Rei had been the clear voice of reason. Max had been the line of humility and he had been the strength of dexterity. Sure Tyson too was determined, but sometimes, all is rivaled by Kai's fire. Sometimes, he wonders whether the fire inside of him will flicker and die one day.

Rei sighed and rubbed his hands to regain the lost warmth, "I know Tyson hasn't told you yet. I'm…breaking a promise but," Now those shadowed hesitant eyes were harsh and bright, "I feel this is the best decision in the end."

That confession had cost him. Rei's shoulders had straightened unconsciously and Kai could see his nails were biting into his palms. Rei clenched his eyes and took a deep shuddering breath, "I saw something. About five months ago. Something that scared me." Now Kai felt nervous, as if he was holding something precious in his hands and he wasn't careful, it would fall.

And break.

"What did you see?" Kai whispered.

Rei drew in a shuddering breath, "I saw Tyson. He had collapsed onto the floor. I rushed to help, but not before I saw him choke," Rei's voice seemed to diminish and all Kai could hear was the pounding of the rain, "And I saw the blood on his hands."

Kai didn't realize his heart had clenched up at those words.

The silence hung over their heads and Rei bent his head slightly, his raven bangs covering whatever expression on his face. Kai tried to grasp whatever Rei had just told him. Rei looked at the window and wondered whether the sky was crying for him. It seemed, Rei thought quietly, as if all his sorrows have left him and returned to the sky. And here they fall.

"Continue," Kai said softly, "Tell me the rest of the story. That's," Rei was sure he heard Kai's voice crack, "isn't the end of it, is it?" Kai sounded accusing and Rei wondered whether Kai hated him or not.

"I asked him what happened," Rei's eyes grew misty at the memory, "He was terrified and said, 'Don't tell Kai.' I agreed and asked him again what happened. He said his body was deteriorating. The doctors are trying, but it requires almost a month of surgery and the chances are 50/50."

Kai said nothing. He couldn't say anything even if he wanted to. Somewhere inside of him, there was an inescapable fear that haunted him for so long.

_If I hadn't, if I had, if it wasn't raining, if I had called them, then…_

_I could have saved them. _

Kai got up, the chair nearly hitting the floor in haste. Rei blinked from his reverie and stared at Kai quizzically. Kai grabbed his coat and opened his door. Rei gaped at him for a second and then got up as well, "W-Where are you going?" Rei said, "You're not—,"

"I am," Kai's eyes burned and Rei had to look away, "I refuse to sit here and do nothing!"

Rei held his gaze once more and it was like the train of unspoken words flitting from one mind to the other.

Rei's eyes were even and deadly, _Do you think you can save him? _

Kai's were dark with unholy red, _I will try. _

Rei sighed and walked upto Kai, "Will it help him?" Rei's eyes were begging now and Kai wondered how he could lower himself to beg. Kai wondered when the day will come when he will be the one to beg. It was a terrifying idea.

"I don't know," And Kai was scared, unbelievably scared. He could feel the fear radiating off hi in treacherous waves. He tightened his collar and scarf and walked out of his apartment. The rain had stopped, but the damp clung onto him like a second skin. Kai stared at the wet pavements distastefully and walked onwards.

_I don't think I can save anyone. _

Kai shivered and pulled his coat closer to his body. Anything to push away the chill of the rain. It had stopped in the middle of Rei's 'confession' and even though Kai didn't like the rain, its absence weighed heavily on his mind. The pavement was wet and the sounds of splashing seemed to echo in his ears. It was like he was on another planet and god was nowhere in sight.

He felt himself stumble, felt himself gasp slightly. His chest felt heavy and his eyes were stinging. Weakness, his grandfather's voice echoed in his head. He winced and gritted his teeth as he walked onwards. Was Tyson a weakness he had fallen prey to? Had everything Tyson taught him a way to break free from the teachings that had dominated him?

And yet, he fell harder than Lucifer had ever fallen from grace.

Kai looked up to the sky. It was tinted a deep grey, but Kai could see the clouds breaking away and small streams of golden light pierced the sky. Kai wondered what his parents were looking down at him. Were they encouraging him on or were they blaming them for their all-too soon deaths.

_Can I save someone? _

Kai felt the rays of the sun brush over his face gently. The mist and fog of the rain seemed to dissipate slowly and Kai wondered whether he was holding onto the Sun. For that hope that it will rise once again for him.

Kai pulled his coat off and stared at the sky.

_I can try. _

Kai aimed another look at the sun and began walking forwards. He didn't look back, not even once. If he did, he knew that he would have to turn around. There are limits to his strength.

Tyson was outside when Kai entered the courtyard. Tyson was staring at the blade in his hand and there were dark lines running down the side of his face. Kai came closer and Tyson's head jerked upwards, the misty eyes brimming with unshed tears. Hastily, Tyson wiped his face and smiled at Kai, "I got something in my eye, that's all."

Kai shook his head and came closer, "Why do you pretend?" He whispered and knew the answer without asking.

_To be strong. _

Tyson's smile dropped slightly.

_To be strong for others. _

Kai was less than an arm's length away from Tyson and could feel Tyson's erratic breathing. Kai shuddered slightly and wondered whether he could be strong. He had failed before, failed to save the one thing that had mattered before. Would his test of strength fail again?

_I don't think I can save anyone. _

…_but…I think…I can save him…._

Kai pulled Tyson around him and wrapped his arms around him tightly, "This time," Kai breathed into Tyson's ear, "I'll try to be strong for you."

_I'll do what I can._

Tyson broke. The brimming tears spilled over and Kai could hear Tyson's raggedy sobs fill his mind. Kai held him closer and Tyson choked, the words pouring out, "I don't want to die, I really don't want to die, oh god, not so soon," Tyson buried his head into Kai's chest, clinging onto him like a lifeline. Once, Kai had done the same, unable to bear the weight of his actions. Like a buoy drifting out at sea, Kai felt Tyson's soul lost aimlessly with the tide.

"I know," Kai could feel his own tears slipping down his cheeks and mingling with Tyson's own. Kai tried to steel himself, but at the sight of Tyson's own weakness, Kai found himself weak too, "Gods above, I know."

Tyson's sobs increased and Kai clutched him tighter. Suddenly, the sunshine didn't seem quite as bright as before.

There was only so much strength a person can have.

**-XX-**

**A/N: A long exasperating chapter that took me ages to figure out. For one, the dynamics of this relationship in a situation like this and how Kai would react. And I worked my head over how they would act. But the end result was better than I thought and I made them look human. **

**Shit, now what am I going to do about the next chapter? **

**Feh, I found it incredibly funny that I finished this on a rainy day. **

**-Power of the mind-  
****-Of soul, of body-  
****-There is only so much-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**Note to the reviewers: Rei is kinda touchy, so please ignore his periodic ranting and lawyer threats. Thank you. **

**Yukiko-Angel: **Well, you found out now, didn't you? Besides, I don't know why you guys are all out to get Rei. Poor guy. Give him a break.

**Yami FireKali: **I wanted a humorous situation involving Kai and Tyson. And why are you guys acting so negative about Rei? Is it because he made Kai sad? Someone explain to me!

**Hiyami: **Hmmmm…I never looked at it quite that way before, but that's an interesting angle I shall keep in mind. I wanted some more of Kai's untold past to come into light. And I found the idea of Tyson and Kai kissing in the rain way too tempting. How could I pass up that?

**Lady Kirei: **Now, come on. I haven't made Rei that nasty a guy, have I? Rei, I think I have just destroyed your fanbase with this story.

Rei: Yeah, thanks a lot.

**Mikin Ishida: **Kai is a hard character, but Tyson is even harder at times! I have to make them both look compatible and real. And Tyson is the only one with reactions unheard of. I mean, he cried when Kai left. How predictable was that?

**JadesRose: **Yes, this is constructive criticism. Thank you very much! Yes, I felt the last chapter was rushed myself, but I'm finding it hard to finish this story, so I'm trying to complete it as soon as possible before all my free time dries up.

**Omnimalevolent: **Poor Rei. All the reviewers are out to get him. I really wanted a random scenario where Kai does that. A little attraction in a relationship never hurt anyone.

**Kitten Have Claws: **See! I swear I'll never cast Rei in a nasty light again. A smurf army! That's evil! Horrible! Malicious! …I like your style!

**Luvyagal: **…What do you think Rei is anyway? Isn't he a guy with honour and morals? Did I really make him look so nasty? Dear lord, I worried whether all you reviewers are going to mob him now… .

**XZanayu: **Here's your next chapter. Enjoy!

**Minako Mikoto: **Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

**Bottlecaps: **I see more unusual nicknames every time I write. I'm touched you think so highly of me, but writing for me is as easy as breathing and I enjoy writing. So, don't worry so much about me.

**Yazzy: **Thank you. That was the effect I wanted all along. And I'm glad you spotted that line. It was my favourite as well.

**Dead Cat: **Even if I know the storyline, I'm still waiting! Suspense isn't good for my health (mental and otherwise) and your TyTa story is interesting!

**Kaay-chan: **Well, no one can remain absolutely optimistic. Take Vash from Trigun. He too has his down moments. I understand the spirit of being happy, but I am trying to portray the lingering doubt that haunts everyone. Tyson is by no means immune to doubt.

**Tsubasa No Kisei:  
**Rei: That's it! I'm calling my lawyer!  
Me: Look, I really didn't know everyone would go crazy at your appearance.  
Rei: I'll sue you! Vengeance, I tell you, vengeance!  
Me: ….I'm suddenly glad I didn't use Tala….

**xXxAngel VxXx:  
**Rei: What's up with Rei! FANGIRLS WANT TO KILL ME THAT'S WHAT!  
Me: Nevermind him, he's being touchy over all the reviewer remarks.

**Dark-She-Deivl: **(coughs) Well, this chapter pretty much explains what Rei wants, so…

**Lady Psychic:  
**Rei: WHAT DOES REI WANT! WHY AM I PORTRAYED LIKE SOME KIND OF RAPIST!  
Me: …Do you want medication pills?  
Rei: I'M PERFECTLY SANE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!  
Me: You're right. I think I'll take them myself.

**Serena429: **Thank you for the compliments.


	13. August

**August  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-Oh, I can see the shore-  
****-When will I ever see the shore?-  
**—"**Life is like a boat" by Rie Fu "Bleach"**

**A/N: I struggled with this chapter. Should I go with everyone's suspicions? Or should I follow my own direction? So I spent many hard days trying to figure out the outcome to the story that I started on a whim. Finally, I got an idea and decided "This is how it will end" no sequels, prequels of any sort. **

"**This will be the end of a long year"**

**

* * *

**

Kai had no hope or love for the month of August. It was a dull month. Schools were beginning and students flocked to them like mindless sheep. There were shops reopening and closing. As the schools mark the dawn of a new year (for the younger generation), Kai wondered whether he would be ableto go to school after this. He wondered if he would be able to look back and look forward. Doing both, would he make his own future, carved and shaped with his own hands? Or will he be clichéd and fall into the pattern of self-despair of his ineptitude.

_Tyson would be coming back today. _

When Kai had discovered about the disease, he forced Tyson to take the treatment. Tyson did not complain, but his eyes were dark and hollow. Kai's resolve nearly broke at Tyson's own weakness. But Kai shipped him off to get the treatment and spent the rest of the month literally biting his nails off. He tried to drown himself in the training of his sport, but even the repetitive spins of his beyblade sent him near the deep end. His teammates told him to stay at home.

"And do what?" Kai nearly screamed in frustration.

"Try reading a book," Max said and slammed the door on his face.

Kai considered going back to beyblade practices, but he decided to take Max's advice and read a book. Unfortunately, when Max came to check up on him (ever since Tyson left, Max began doubting Kai's mental state) and found him reading the book upside down. Max walked up to Kai and said with false sweetness, "Is the book good?"

Kai answered, "Very."

It took Kai a while to realize what exactly had transpired. And it took even longer for Kai to find a suitable threat—uhh, _bribe _to keep Max from telling anyone else.

Needless to say, whenever Max saw Kai carrying any kind of book, he would start chuckling to himself.

But in Kai's mind, the days had never passed so slowly before. Finally, the month of August is here and Kai waited by the airport. People passed all around him and sometimes, someone would recognize him and say, "Mom look! That's Kai the captain of the Bladebreakers! Oh, mom can we meet him?" and some fretting mother would reply back distractedly, "I'm sure he's very busy right now. Oh, now where is that gate?"

Kai found their reactions a great way to pass the time. But as the minutes ticked by and the clock hands looked distant to him, Kai felt like sand slipping through someone's fingertips. The futile strands that mingle with the wind seem like the interweaving of destiny. And Kai has never quite felt so helpless before. Fighting against the inevitable tide…when Tyson comes, what would he do?

Would he stand by and watch Fate deal with the winning cards?

_What _could he do?

Announcements rang across the halls and echoed dimly in his ears. Everything seemed to be pushed back into the background scenery. Kai could hear his breath in rhythmic pants. Finally, he brought himself out of his reverie and stared around the airport. The whole world felt like alien to him. People walked in and out with perpetual smiles and Kai wondered whether he was placed on another planet.

And there, in the middle of all those people was Tyson. Kai could see him so clearly, as if he was seeing Tyson for the first time ever. The world seemed to fade away around him and he began thinking about the disease again. But Tyson kept walking towards and Kai found that he was unable to move. Then Tyson stood right in front of him and Kai tentatively put a hand on Tyson's cheek.

It felt warm. Tyson felt warm.

Kai wondered if he was crying again.

Tyson smiled and Kai went closer and held him tightly. He buried his head into Tyson's hair and inhaled the scent of medicines and mint. Tyson didn't say anything at first, letting Kai hold him. They stood there for what seemed to be the eternity in a minute. And Tyson sighed softly and happily. He looked at Kai who lifted his head to meet his eyes.

"Shall we go?"

Kai looked at him and smiled. A smile not many would ever have the privilege of ever seeing. Then putting his hand over Tyson's, they walked out of the airport and never once looking back. Yet…they never quite looked forward either.

The car trip back was spent in silence. Tyson stared out of the window, watching the lights flash against the glass. And Kai stared at Tyson, struggling with words he thought he understood. Kai watched as the neon lights of Baycity reflected in Tyson's almost empty eyes. Then he looked away and watched the string of colours pass him by.

"Stop here," Tyson said suddenly. Kai stared at him and then signaled the driver to stop. Tyson got out of the car and started walking. Kai (still quite confused) followed him. Tyson then increased his pace and Kai had to run. The leaves seemed to spin around him in a waltz and the wind seemed to be running with them. Kai ran, following the blue trail of Tyson's ponytail.

"Tyson, what are you doing?" Kai gasped as he kept on running. The trees began spinning as well and Tyson was further and further away. Kai's eyes began to blur and he wondered why he was losing strength again.

_I can't lose him._

_I can't save him._

Tyson stopped suddenly and Kai's footsteps slowed down. Kai noticed for the first time where they were. The trees seemed to form a holy ring around them and the clouds began to gather at the centre of the sky. The dead leaves gathered at his feet and he walked closer to Tyson. In his mind's eye, he could see the past repeat.

_Kai choked. His eyes spun quickly onto Tyson who was still leaning back and admiring the sky. And he could see it, the slight glimmer of tears near the eyelashes like little droplets of dew after an early June shower. Tyson was crying and he was smiling._

Tyson turned around and Kai could see the tear marks on his cheeks. Kai came closer and he could feel the erratic breath coming out of Tyson's mouth. Kai wondered what he was supposed to do. Tyson was always the stronger one, always been the one who knew what to do, who knew what was right to do. And now Tyson needed saving and Kai didn't know what to do.

Kai came closer and touched the tear marks with his fingers. Tyson smiled, one of those smiles that only Tyson could give to people. The smiles he had always shared with Kai and no one else. Kai felt a shudder rip through him and wondered if this is what mortality meant to the gods.

"Stop crying," Kai said finally, "Please, stop crying."

Tyson held onto Kai, letting Kai slowly rub away the tear marks on his face. Kai knew the answer now, even without words. The very expression on Tyson's face seemed to mirror his in cruel irony. Kai felt his knees hit the ground, felt Tyson's weight beside him as they lay on the ground, the auburn leaves piling over them, no gentler than winter snow.

Tyson kissed Kai softly and stared at the sky. The clouds lazily circled over them and the sun shone in the centre like an irreplaceable jewel. Kai's felt his eyes close slightly from the glare of the sun and looked at Tyson. There were no more tears, but Tyson's eyes were closed in bliss.

"If I could…I would stay like this forever," Tyson whispered, "It would be nice…"

Kai said nothing. His throat felt constricted and he couldn't breathe. It was like standing at the edge of a cliff and wondering whether you would fall into the ocean.

Tyson's eyes felt like the ocean.

Kai held Tyson closer, felt his heartbeat against his own, beating together in a synchronized manner. Tyson sighed and leaned in closer. Kai could feel Tyson's cold breath cloud his neck. And it began to slow down until utter silence descended over them. Kai felt his own eyes flutter and close as well. The world felt black beneath his eyes and the silence…

The silence was deafening.

**A/N: The epilogue is coming up soon. So be patient! It took so long because I was in Malaysia for the vacation. Gomen nasai minna-san!**

**-Last pieces scattered-  
****-Brought together-  
****-On a whim-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**Mikin Ishida: **Kai has been through a lot of pain in this story. Maybe I should be nicer to him.

**Dead Cat: **I'm working on it. But I have several other new projects lined up and continuing stories I want to finish…(hands you a stick to help ward of other reviewers)

**Destruction Devil:** Rei: A fan!  
Me: Okay, now you're just sad Rei.

**Minako Mikoto: **Rei: Yes, poor Rei. (glares at Timmy) I have fans too! Better than yours!  
Me: (mutters) I have fans?

**Omnimalevolent: **That's an interesting idea. Kai the Pixie Fairy. Oh dear, Kai is aiming some very nasty glares at my direction…(runs to hide somewhere)

**JadesRose: **I did read it, though I avoid the Sailor Moon section. That place could kill a person sometimes. At any rate, I do think my chapters are too short. Demo, that's how my style is. I really can't help it.

**Yukiko-Angel: **Yeah. And Kai varies in strength doesn't he?

**Kaay-chan: **Medication…hmm…I really hadn't focused on the details of the disease because I wanted the feeling more than the factual evidence. Plus, I didn't want to be cliché and pick cancer. And I, for one, would know about cancer than most.

**Yami FireKali: **Kali-chan! I knew you would! Buy Tales of Symphonia next! XD It's a good game!

**XZanayu: **Kai can't do anything. That's why Kai felt weak.

**Luvyagal: **That's a little overboard. Kai's life would be different, true. But don't mistake love to be a weakening force. You know what they say. It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved before.

**Yazzy: **Thank you! Here's your update!

**Hiyami: **Well, there is 50/50. Place your bet!

**xXxAngel VxXx: **Kill me? (hides in cupboard) Don't hurt me! I'm innocent! Blame the muses!  
CS (in Hawaii): (sneezes) I get the strangest feeling someone was talking shit about me….  
CT: Ah well (soaks up in the sun)

**Lady Psychic: **You have great faith in me. I'm touched. This chapter has given me so many headaches, but your support makes me feel a lot better.

**Waterlily: **Rei: See? Fans!  
Me: That's getting old Rei. Everyone apologized. Give it a rest or I will turn you into a pimp in the next story. As for the bad feeling and Tyson, I hope this chapter explains the better part of it.

**Lady Kirei: **Thank you. Here's your update. I hope this chapter meets your expectations.

**Vanakuvixen: **thank you!

**Serena429: **thank you as well.


	14. Epilogue

**Epilogue  
****By Timberwolf220**

**-Such precious lives like you and I-  
****-Rest on this tiny planet-  
**—**Saiyuki Burial Arc: Son Goku "Saiyuki Reload"**

**A/N: What you've all been waiting for. I would recommend listening to any angsty song you feel comfortable with. Trust me, it helps.  
****With no further ado, the final chapter!

* * *

**

INTERVIEW WITH REI KON

Bladester: Thank you for coming for this interview Rei-san.  
Rei: It's no problem at all.  
Bladester: These questions might be very personal Rei-san. Are you sure about this?  
Rei: I think it's about time the public got their answers. I'm tired of hearing old conspiracy theories.  
Bladester: The funeral is this week correct?

Rei: That's right.  
Bladester: And you still have no idea about Kai's location?  
Rei: Kai goes and comes as he pleases. I'm sure he's fine  
Bladester: How do you feel about losing your teammate?  
Rei: He was a friend. I will—miss him a lot.  
Bladester: There were rumours about Tyson Kinomiya.  
Rei: Such as?  
Bladester: He was involved with Kai Hiwatari—is that true?  
Rei: I don't think I have the right to answer that question.  
Bladester: Do you have any idea as to why Kai Hiwatari left?  
Rei: I suppose he needed some time of his own.  
Bladester: Time of his own?  
Rei: Kai has never been good with acceptance.

* * *

He had no idea about what he was going to say. They were staring at him as if he was a ghost waling straight out of a coffin. Some of their gazes were painful because images flashed at him, taunting him. He shoved all his memories in the backburner and started at his hands instead. 

It was Max who broke the silence. He cleared his throat and managed a warm smile (and Kai is struck by another smile at the back of his mind. The calm smile that felt like thee summer breeze drifting past his ear) and said, "It's good to see you Kai."

Both Rei and Hitoshi stared at the blonde incredulously. Kai's lips twitched slightly and replied in kind, "Thank you."

Rei managed to drag himself out of his shock and nodded to that. Hitoshi growled something under his breath, but the angry grey light had dimmed and he did not comment on Kai's sudden appearance. Max clapped his hands in happiness (or so it seemed. Kai knew Max better than that), "Good, we can move on to the funeral."

A heavy iron-strong silence descended onto them with the subtlety of monsoon rain. Rei looked out of the window (just like before. Did he inherit that ability from Tyson? Tyson would stare at the sky for hours to see if the sun would listen to his prayers), the evening red reflecting in his glistening amber (it seems that Rei has tears still to shed. He had run dry). Hitoshi stared at the desk, his fingers twitching slightly. The nails seemed dirty and his knuckles were white from tension. Hitoshi did not cry, but seemed to be on the verge of doing so (he lost his mother, lost his younger brother. Wouldn't that tear any man apart?)

"Were you waiting for me?" Kai asked quietly, "Is that why you delayed the funeral for so long?"

Rei nodded, "I knew the article with Bladester would get your attention. And personally, I—," Rei stopped and couldn't bring himself to speak. He stared at Kai steadily as if judging his worthiness with his eyes, "I can't do that to Tyson."

_Tyson. _The words rang in his head like a nostalgic melody. Snatches of memory pressed themselves vividly in his head and he winced. He had been struggling with this moment, knew that the minute someone uttered his name, Kai would be overcome. But he gripped his arms tightly and relaxed his body. Rei watched Kai's reaction with feline eyes and looked away.

"I think Kai knows what to do," Max's smiles looked motherly and Kai felt his body lurch, "Don't you Kai?"

"_Don't you know Kai?" Tyson said, "I think you do."_

"_What are you talking about?" Kai asked perplexed, "I know what?"_

"_About," Tyson stumbled with his words, "Why we never said it."_

"_Said what?" Kai was thoroughly confused now and his brow creased. Then it cleared and he let out a little sigh, "I see."_

_Tyson smiled by Kai's response, "I don't think we need it."_

"_No," Kai said, "I don't think we do."_

"Kai?" Kai snapped out of his reverie and seemed to settle back into the present. The lingering image of Tyson seemed to wither in his mind and he felt lonely. Max looked a little worried and Kai tried to look reassuring, but it didn't quite work. The muscles of his face seemed to be frozen and his hands were paralyzed. Then some semblance of calm filtered through his body as he regained his composure.

"Sorry," Kai said gruffly, "Sorry," He repeated softly, letting the words speak for themselves.

Max nodded, "Now, if we can move on—,"

* * *

In truth, Kai was not one for grand occasions. Sure, he had been bred to deal with all situations, but the rich flamboyancy and style that his grandfather displayed would disturb him. Too bright, too fake, he remembered with an odd sense of nostalgia that was neither pleasant nor unpleasant. He would try to retreat into the corner of the room, hoping to meld into the shadows like a wraith. He was never given the pleasure to. His grandfather would hunt him down and drag him back into the spotlight. 

Years spent in both light and darkness, Kai finds that he is content with grey spaces in his life.

He didn't call many people. The few he did were people that Tyson had fought (and consequently defeated) and perhaps a few relatives (at Hitoshi's request). Tyson's father did not come. Of all the people that were here, that was the person Kai wanted to see. To apologize? Perhaps, perhaps. Kai knew he had his hand in Tyson's death, thought it was Tyson's decision in the end. Maybe that will give him more sleep at nights.

The people were dispersing now. Kai could feel them pass him without a single glance thrown backwards. Max had not cried, not even when he strewn the flowers on top of the pyre. Rei had looked at the body with that same harsh look that Kai had seen before. But it crumbled (so easily, so quickly in that instant that Rei had poured his heart out on the pyre as well) and was reconstructed in a second. Rei swept away, no words to give the dearly departed. But Kai saw him stagger like a blind man and furiously wipe his eyes. They all couldn't be like Max.

Hitoshi spoke to his brother in soft caressing tones. Kai had never heard Hitoshi ever talk like that, never once. Maybe Tyson could remember that Hitoshi cared, but Kai could not. Hitoshi, like Rei kept every detail of his life so carefully placed, that one ill-fated domino could devastate the basis. Kai let everything in his life burn, so that even for a few minutes, it could be happy. Kai wanted to be happy. Somehow, he knew the chance still existed.

"Battered with grief," he had heard people call him, "A hard childhood and a harder existence" people had written in sports magazines. Kai understood their pity and knew why they felt sympathetic. But Kai was done with feeling sorry for himself. It was, he thought disgruntled when he read such articles, a waste of time. He was, by no means, incapable of moving forward.

Kai approached the pyre. The others didn't want to watch until the end. Kai knew why they left and he gave them their choice freely. It was, he thought, what Tyson would have wanted. He slowly watched the white face. Kai knew each feature by heart, but he never ceased to memorize it. Even in death, Tyson looked beautiful. There was a smile on his face that Kai knew would never leave him. Slowly (he tried to stop the trembling of his arms, but there was fear in him, no amount of self-confidence could purge. He was going to do it and yet….) he raised the torch and set it down gently onto the pyre. The pyre immediately caught fire and the orange flames began rising closer to the sky. Like a dog, Kai thought, licking the clouds of the sky's feet. The smoke began to spiral upwards in a message and Tyson's face was barely visible.

Kai walked away slightly and watched the fire from a distance. It meant a lot to him (and he knew imperceptibly that it would mean a lot to Tyson) to light the pyre. Why? He had recalled a conversation from before. And the reunion with Max and Rei had merely reignited the spark of memory.

"_The fire is untamable," Tyson said, "A lot like you," He added and prodded the campfire as if ashamed of what he just suggested. _

"_And when it's tamed?" Kai asked sticking his marshmallow stick into the fire. Tyson blew the fire slightly and watched it glow. Kai could see the flames reflect in those wide grey-blue eyes. Tyson sighed and said, "No, the reason it's untamable is because it's beautiful."_

_Kai said nothing except, "I think I burnt my marshmallows"_

_Tyson laughed and their voices mingled with the smoke. _

Kai saw the smoke slowly vanish and fade. He saw the ashes slowly being picked up with the wind and drift away. He saw the face he remembered so well that it hurt, hurt so much that he bent his head. He couldn't look at the dying flames anymore because the fire was dying. This is why he hated the fire. Something so beautiful could never last long enough. Kai started crying, felt his cheeks go red and his head feel heavy.

Because….

"_Did you know that Kai?"_

"_Do you want to exchange presents?"_

"…_What do you want us be, Kai?"_

"_I won't leave,"_

"_It stopped snowing, didn't it? Soon, spring will come and then…"_

Because…

_I belong to him…_

Kai felt his sobs wrack his body. His knees were numb and his arms felt tired. He couldn't stop the pain rolling over him in waves. The tears washed his face clean and he wished (how he wished these past few weeks! How he wished that this was a twisted nightmare and when he wakes up, Tyson would be lying beside him with that smile) that he could get up. Anything to reduce the ache in his head. Anything to get his heart beating from his chest instead of his arms. How could he have been reduced to this, so suddenly, so quickly? It should not be possible. It defied all logic, all constitution of life!

And yet…

_Because…_

He would not get up…

_He had broken his promise…_

Because he had watch himself burn…

_To protect him forever…_

And thus, the ashes had fled.

The tears continued to kiss Kai's face as he cried bitterly into the ground. That was the only relief granted to him.

"_Get up Kai"_

Kai looked upwards and saw the smile. An invisible seemed to be in front of him. Swallowing his own sobs, he grasped that hand and stood up. The smile was gone, but Kai could stand. Kai could walk. Kai was still here. And he would remain here.

Untill the end of days, Kai thought, and the return of the smile.

He walked away. And he too, never looked back. The ashes are gone, and the fire was dead. There was nothing to look back for.

**

* * *

**

**A/N: OMG it's finished! After much buildup of mood and struggle because the last chapter gave me horrendous writer's blocks the size of Godzilla. Who says size doesn't matter! I hope you guys were satisfied with the ending (though I know personally that all of you'll will throw sharp pointy objects at me and threaten me. And I speak from personal experience) **

**-So slips away the threads I held-  
****-Thus, the cloth of white is gone-  
****-Why am I lost?-  
**—**Author's Observations**

**Yami FireKali: **I think you knew the answer for that a long time ago. So don't kill me! See you on MSN!

**JadesRose: **No, I didn't. I don't know much about Sailor Moon. But the Watcher idea was interesting.

**Yukiko-Angel: **Sorry.

**Serena429: **Nicer to Kai? (sniggers) I've never been nice to Kai. I've killed him (twice), made him a psychopath and a blubbering idiot. And one time I made him a murderer. Nice to Kai? Ha!  
(PS: Please don't tell him. He hates me enough as it is….)

**Mikin Ishida: **Not happening. Kai hates me. It's true. (dodges an attack from a flamethrower)

**Destruction Devil: **Well, Rei's pride has been amended and seen to. I just hope he doesn't get a swollen ego from all the attention (Rei preens himself). Thank you for the compliment! Honestly, I can't see myself as an idol, but thank you all the same.

**xXx Angel VxXx: **Yes, he has. I've been particularly vindictive in this fic. I don't know why. I guess after all my Tyson-centric fics, I guess Kai needed his spotlight. And I like Kai (despite the torture I inflict on him)

**Shinobi KazeKage: **Apparently, this story has been making a lot of people emotional. Cloud and Aeris huh? I wouldn't know much about them (I've never played the game) but I've heard a lot.

**Tuatha De Danaan: **…..I'm sorry?

**XZanayu: **Ummm…Thank you. It means a lot.

**Tykaimistress: **What inspires me? Honestly, I can't say. What I can say is that most of the feelings Kai experiences are based on mine. Maybe that will tell you something?

**Minako Mikoto: **Sorry, sorry, sorry. I really can't help it, but that's the way I wanted to end it.

**Dark Libra 09: **Is there a difference? (quails when the mallet comes into view) OMG don't kill me!

**Hiyami: **Sorry. Really sorry. But this is my story. Just don't kill me in retaliation. At least, not until I've sorted out my will.

**Luvyagal: **I know it would. However (if you have ever read my bio) I don't do nice often.

**Lady Kirei: **Thank you. I did actually. Your epilogue is delivered, albeit a little late. Sorry for the long delay.

**Omnimalevolent: **Thank you. I like poetry. So I tend to incorporate it in my work.

**Kaay-chan: **I actually went out of way of making the last part in the previous chapter rather vague. I wanted to see what conclusions you would draw from the ambiguity. I was not disappointed.

**NekoAnime: **I'm glad you like him. I liked him as well. He played a part that was the most difficult. Watching from the sidelines.

**Lady Psychic: **Thank you for that encouragement. However, I'm not so sure that everyone shares your sentiments. Thank you all the same though.

**Waterlily: **Don't worry about it. I'm not angry. I don't have a right to be. I like it when reviewers review, but it shouldn't be considered a duty. You should want to review because you like the story. Rest assured, there are no hard feelings.

(BTW, you reviewed twice, so we're even anyway.)

**Yazzy: **There's no need to write long reviews. Thank you.


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